What do you do when all of your friends turn on you? —Kelly, 16, Stockton, Calif.
Believe it or not, almost everyone goes through this problem at some point. Basically, you have two options: Figure out how to get back on your friends' good side or get new friends — both of which, we know, are more easily said than done. Think about whether there's a specific reason for your friends to ditch you all of a sudden. Is it because you don't drink and they've started to? Did you gossip about them — or could somebody have told them you did?
If it's a misunderstanding, you should be able to correct it by picking the person you're closest to and asking her one-on-one to please listen to your side of the story. On the other hand, if a fundamental difference has developed between you and them — like, if they're into partying and you're not — it's probably time to find a new group you have more in common with.
Same goes if they seem to have abandoned you for no reason; they may be picking up on a subtle rift that you haven't noticed yet. A simple way to find new people to hang out with is to think of one or two acquaintances — maybe girls you chat with in class — and gradually start talking to them about things other than school. Eventually you'll feel comfortable enough to ask them to do something after class or over the weekend. (You can also look for new friends during your extracurricular activities. It may be easier to strike up a conversation there since you'll already have something in common. And if you don't have any hobbies or outside activities, now would be a great time to find one!)
Unfortunately, the whole "friends are forever" concept isn't always true — people do grow apart. But if this situation prompts you to make new friends you're even closer with, it's not necessarily a bad thing.
I'm almost 18, practically broke and living in a small town where even the people who actually graduate don't do much with their lives. I want to leave so badly, but I have the worst feeling that I won't go anywhere or even make it to college! What do I do? —Amanda, 17, hometown withheld
As much as you believe that you won't go anywhere in life because of where you're from, that's not reality. Tons of people from small towns go to college — even people who don't have a lot of money. First, get rid of the negative attitude. If you keep telling yourself that you won't amount to anything, then you won't. (Luckily, the reverse is true too: A positive attitude can lead to positive results!)
Take on the mind-set that going to college is a given — then make it happen. If your grades are decent and your main problem is money, ask your guidance counselor what you need to do to apply for financial aid. There are a variety of scholarships out there too, so during your junior and senior years, look into both of these options as you begin applying to schools.
As for student loans, usually all it takes is filling out a few forms with your parents. Never let the cost of school keep you from going. Apply, get in, then worry about how you'll pay for it. It might also help to find a mentor — someone who will inspire you to work hard to achieve your goal of getting into college and leaving your hometown. Think hard about whether you have any relatives or friends of friends who've made it out; if not, try calling the admissions or alumni-relations departments of colleges nearby and asking if they can hook you up with a mentor. Talking with someone successful from your area — especially in a career field you're interested in — will encourage you even more. And you can always check out the "College & Career" section at seventeen.com for additional tips and resources. Good luck!
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