BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. — There must be something in the water on the planet Mongo, because Eric Johnson is apparently sort of delusional.
The star of the the Sci Fi Channel's "Flash Gordon" series appeared to be sincere when he told TV critics his new show "really is the best interpretation of an actual comic book that I've seen."
That is ludicrous. Maybe Johnson has never seen a Superman movie. (Even "Superman 3" and "Superman 4.") Maybe he's never seen a Spider-man movie. Maybe he's never seen an X-men movie. Or a Batman movie. (Even "Batman and Robin.") Maybe he's never seen a "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie.
For that matter, he's apparently never seen any of the TV shows — animated or live-action — based on any of those comic books.
This incredibly boring, unwatchable incarnation of "Flash Gordon" can't hold a candle to everything from "The Tick" to "Sin City" to "V for Vendetta."
Little wonder that Johnson later said, "I was never into comic books as a child."
(And, by the way, "Flash Gordon" was a comic strip, not a comic book.)
The first time I tried to watch the 90-minute pilot of "Flash Gordon" (Friday at 9 and 10:30 p.m. on Sci Fi), I fell asleep. The second time, it was all I could do to keep my eyes open.
And I like science fiction shows. I was sort of looking forward to this one.
Although knowing that this comes to us from producer Robert Halmi Sr. kept my hopes in check. This guy has foisted an incredible amount of bad TV on us in the past couple of decades — including a horrible remake of "The Ten Commandments"; a bad "Hercules"; and dull versions of "Jason and the Argonauts," "Alice in Wonderland" and "Cleopatra."
Hmmm ... perhaps we're detecting a pattern here. (I tried not to laugh when Johnson told critics, "I think Mr. Halmi's reputation ... precedes him.")
If you have any memories of previous versions in which Flash Gordon battles the evil Ming the Merciless in outer space, forget them. There is not a single outer-space scene in the new "Flash Gordon." Not one.
Instead, the characters travel from Earth to Mongo through some sort of dimensional rift — which (coincidentally?) looks an awful lot like the way the "Sliders" used to travel in that 1995-2000 series.
"We did the rift because you really couldn't have a rocket ship in your back yard today," said executive producer Peter Hume.
Yes, rockets would just be unbelievable. Not nearly as plausible as a dimensional rift in the back yard.
(But I'm sure that the rift special effects were a heck of a lot cheaper.)
Sci Fi calls this a "contemporized version" of "Flash Gordon," which apparently means it's set in the present day. The original story is barely recognizable.
Steven "Flash" Gordon is a champion marathoner — thus the nickname, although that would seem more applicable to a sprinter, wouldn't it? His scientist father apparently died in a lab fire when Flash was 13.
As Friday's movie opens, Flash's old girlfriend, Dale Arden (Gina Holden), has just come back to town. She's a TV reporter who's engaged to a police detective (Giles Panton). But Flash and Dale are thrown together once again when an alien device of some sort is discovered and they investigate.
Joining them is Hans Zarkov (Jody Racicot), an old associate of Flash's father. And, shortly thereafter, a mechanical killer comes through one of those rifts in search of an artifact called the Imex, which is connected with Flash's father and his disappearance.
Soon, Flash and Dale are on the other side of the rift on the planet Mongo, where they meet the evil ruler Ming (John Ralston) ... and the boredom is in full swing.
Do yourself a favor. If you're really interested in "Flash Gordon," go watch the 1980 movie (which has just been remastered and re-released on DVD). It's a bad movie — so bad that it's entertaining in a campy, over-the-top sort of way.
Don't waste your time watching this Sci Fi Channel version of "Flash Gordon," which is just plain bad, unless you're suffering from insomnia. It might help with that.
E-mail: pierce@desnews.com