MR. WOODCOCK — * 1/2 — Seann William Scott, Billy Bob Thornton, Susan Sarandon; rated PG-13 (vulgarity, violence, profanity, sex, slurs, brief drugs).
If Internet scuttlebutt is to be believed, it took a lot of work — and many re-shoots — just to make "Mr. Woodcock" releasable. Which is a scary thought, as it implies that a much-worse version existed before.
As it is, the resulting movie is a painfully unfunny and mean-spirited comedy, in which Billy Bob Thornton simply plays the same acerbic jerk character he's been playing since "Bad Santa," and jockish Seann William Scott tries to pass himself off as a former high school loser.
Scott stars as John Farley, a successful, self-help bookwriter who's returned to his small Nebraska hometown to receive a civic award. John is also planning to visit his widowed mother, Beverly (Susan Sarandon), who has a big surprise for him — she's dating Jasper Woodcock (Thornton), a cruel gym teacher who pretty much tortured John during high school. It's a crushing blow to John's confidence. So he decides to do what he can to break them up and exact revenge on his former tormentor.
First-timer Craig Gillespie may be credited as director but "Wedding Crashers" maker David Dobkin was allegedly brought in for re-shoots to salvage the project. Which would explain why the film feels like a series of mismatched parts, as a romance subplot — between John and his former high-school crush (Melissa Sagemiller) — is abruptly dropped, and the tone of the film shifts from embarrassment comedy to redemptive comedy in the final 15 minutes.
Worse, there's not that much here that is even remotely amusing. Even "Saturday Night Live" comedienne Amy Poehler, who plays John's alcoholic publicist/handler, becomes tiresome.
"Mr. Woodcock" is rated PG-13 for crude sexual humor and language (vulgar slang and other suggestive talk), supposedly comic violence (wrestling, beatings and brawling, as well as assorted pratfalls), occasional strong profanity (including one usage of the so-called "R-rated" curse word), simulated sex and other sexual contact (mostly overheard), slurs based on sexual preference, and brief drug references (marijuana). Running time: 87 minutes.
E-mail: jeff@desnews.com