BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. — What teenager isn't embarrassed by his or her parents?
It's just part of the package. Even if his/her parents are the nicest, least cringe-inducing people on Earth, the teenager is going to be embarrassed by them.
For that reason and that reason alone, I'd almost recommend that parents sit down with their teenagers and watch "Coolio's Rules," the new reality show on the Oxygen channel. Because, compared to Coolio, 99.9 percent of the rest of us who are parents of teenagers are going to seem waaaaay less embarrassing.
Coolio, of course, is a Grammy-winning rapper. His career has seen better days, but he has sold more than 27 million records to date.
He's also a 45-year-old single father of six. Four of them co-star with him on "Coolio's Rules" (Tuesdays, 11 p.m., Oxygen), the latest reality show about a famous person and his family.
The Coolio clan includes Artisha, 20; Brandi, 19; Artis, 18; and Jackie, 15. His 14-year-old son "does not like to be in public." And Coolio said he felt his 12-year-old "was just maybe a little bit too young to be exposed" on the show.
The same might have been said of his other children. I'm not telling you "Coolio's Rules" is a good show. It's actually surprisingly dull.
Remember, I told you I'd "almost" recommend it. And that's for one reason and one reason alone.
It's because, compared to Coolio, even those of us who sometimes go out of the way to embarrass our teenagers — you know, just for fun — seem less embarrassing.
In the show's premiere episode, Coolio's daughters begged for a new car that he had no intention of buying them. And he tried to launch a catering business.
In last week's episode, Coolio went on a blind date. Well, actually, he stayed home on a blind date. With his kids there, too.
So much for the reality in this "reality" show.
"If I can get them to eat my food, I can get them to do other stuff," Coolio tells his daughters.
This would be the same guy who, with his daughters sitting next to him in front of a room full of TV critics, uses a offensive term to refer to women. (A word inappropriate for a family newspaper.)
"I don't mean it like that," Coolio said. "I love women. ... I'm not a woman-basher."
Yikes.
Coolio went on to say that sometimes he brings home "loose" women, but that he sees them as a negative example for his kids.
"I say, 'Look at that. Don't you ever be like that,"' he said. "Then I bring somebody home that's really cool and that's got it together, and I say, 'That's the kind of person you want to be like.' So it's actually helped a lot in a way you wouldn't even imagine."
Yikes.
And, Coolio will have us know — and he'll tell us with his kids sitting right next to him — that his daughters are not loose women.
"That's what I've been meaning about that embarrassing thing," Artis said. "He loves to do that."
Coolio asked Artisha if she was embarrassed.
"A little bit," she replied.
"So what?" he said. "It's 'Coolio's Rules,' not 'Artisha's Rules."'
You'd have to work hard to be a more embarrassing parent than this guy.
E-mail: pierce@desnews.com