PROVO — Here's an editor's assignment for a story to run on Thanksgiving Day, also known as Turkey Day — find the biggest "turkeys," or worst games, in the long history of the BYU-Utah rivalry.
(Apparently readers are tired of the same old, hackneyed stories about the Utes' dramatic overtime win in 2005, the Beck-to-Harline game in 2006, and the fourth-and-18 game in 2007).
Well, there's an inherent problem with picking the worst games, of course.
What, exactly, is the definition of a "worst" game when it comes to the rivalry?
Is a "worst" game a blowout?
Let's see ...
Utah crushed BYU in 2004 and 2008 by scores of 52-21 and 48-24 — two of the most lopsided games in the series in recent history. But both wins propelled the Utes to Bowl Championship Series berths. Utah fans didn't seem to mind that the outcome wasn't close. In fact, they reveled in it.
Cougar fans can giddily point to the 70-31 victory over the Utes in 1989 (the score was 49-0 at halftime), which was payback for a 57-28 drubbing administered by Utah the previous season (which was the Utes' first win over BYU in a decade).
Cougar fans remember fondly the 37-17 whipping of the Utes in 1996 at Rice-Eccles Stadium during BYU's 14-1 Cotton Bowl campaign, which marks the last time the Cougars beat the Utes by a margin of more than seven points. Or the 56-6 thrashing in 1980 or the 55-7 shellacking in 1983 — wins engineered by future Super Bowl champs Jim McMahon and Steve Young, respectively.
Is a "worst" game a boring contest that doesn't live up to the hype?
In 2002, Utah edged BYU, 13-6, in a battle that featured two teams with inept offenses and losing records.
The Utes and Cougars combined for four field goals, eight sacks and one touchdown (yawn). The longest play of the game was a 50-yard interception return by BYU. The Cougars used three different quarterbacks and coughed up three turnovers (the tryptophan is really kicking in now).
But the Utes remember it as coach Ron McBride's final game as head coach. Knowing he was on the brink of being fired, fans stormed the field and tore down the goalposts.
What's more, the defeat cemented BYU's first losing season in 28 years.
Is a "worst" game a low-scoring affair, poorly played by both sides?
How about 2003? The two teams combined for a mere three points, on a 41-yard field goal in the second quarter by Ute kicker Bryan Borreson, and 376 yards of total offense combined. Both teams punted seven times.
Of course, the elements that day in Provo had something to do with the pathetic performances in Utah's 3-0 win.
Bitter-cold temperatures and blowing snow made it nearly impossible for either team to move the ball — including Ute quarterback Alex Smith, who would go on to be the No. 1 overall pick in the 2005 NFL draft. On the sidelines for the Utes was coach Urban Meyer, who would go on to win two national championships in warm and sunny Florida.
Who knows how many cases of frostbite and hypothermia were suffered by the 64,486 fans in attendance at that Winter Wonderland game.
Yet, despite the dismal weather conditions, Utah fans still get goosebumps over that 3-0 victory. The Utes snapped BYU's NCAA-record streak of 361 consecutive games (spanning 33 years) without being shut out. While Utah clinched its first outright conference championship since 1957 that day, the Cougars concluded their second consecutive losing season.
Is a "worst" game a matchup between two lackluster teams with losing records?
In this decade, both teams entered the rivalry game with sub-.500 records twice — in 2000 and 2002.
In 2000, BYU legend LaVell Edwards fittingly coached in his final game against Utah. But the Cougars and Utes had a combined record of 9-12.
That prompted BYU defensive lineman Hans Olsen to quip, "Both teams could be 0-11 coming into that game, and it would still be big. The fact we've both had dumpy seasons, that's going to make it more of a battle, to see which team had the dumpier season. Hopefully we can end up and say they had the dumpier season."
In the end, Cougar quarterback Brandon Doman converted a late fourth-and-13 and scored the game-winning touchdown to send Edwards out a winner in his final game.
And leave Utah in the dumps.
So, what have we learned from this Thanksgiving Day exercise?
While there have been some memorable, epic contests between the Utes and Cougars this decade to be thankful for, there have been a couple of clunkers, too.
But when it comes to The Rivalry, judging "worst" games depends strictly on one's loyalties, on whether one sees the world through red-colored or blue-colored glasses.
One Utah fan's "turkey" game is a BYU fan's turkey feast. And vice versa.
In-state showdown
Utah (9-2, 6-1 MWC) at BYU (9-2, 6-1)
Saturday, 3 p.m.
LaVell Edwards Stadium
TV: The mtn., CBS-C
Radio: 700 AM, 1160 AM, 102.7 FM
e-mail: jeffc@desnews.com