When Ralphie is asked what he wants for Christmas, the answer is right at the tip of his tongue: "A Red Ryder 200-shot Carbine Action Range Model Air Rifle with a compass and this thing that tells time built right in the stock."
Throw in a lamp shaped like a woman's leg and a moment with two young boys whose tongues are stuck to a frozen flagpole, and you've got the makings of a Christmas classic.
"A Christmas Story," the 1983 movie-turned-cult favorite, is now a play, and Pioneer Theatre Company is set to open the regional premiere of the stage adaptation by Philip Grecian.
As iconic as the movie's images are, perhaps none is more so than the bespectacled 9-year-old lad himself, Ralphie, played in the PTC production by Park City native Mason Johnson.
"He had to say, 'Mom, calm down,' " said Mason's mom, CJ.
"I got the phone call, and I got in the car and drove over to his school. I said, 'I need Mason Johnson paged right now.' He walked in and saw me and just said, 'Oh my gosh, I got it!' and I was crying and jumping and so excited," she added. "He said,'Mom you're attacking me.' "
"When I got called to the office, I thought I was in trouble," Mason said. "My mom was there crying and saying, 'You're Ralphie, you're Ralphie!' I was so excited for the rest of the school day."
Mason, who has done work at the Egyptian Theatre and other community theaters, will be on the professional stage for the first time.
"I'm really honored to be cast, because it's such a respected theater in Utah," he said over the phone as his dad drove him to Saturday morning rehearsal. "I saw the set for the first time yesterday, and I'm really excited to perform."
"And it's also really fun because me and Ally … Ally and I are really close friends, and we're acting buddies."
Alexia "Ally" Ioannides, also from Park City, is Mason's schoolmate, carpool pal and, in the show, Ralphie's love interest.
"Well, my character is in love with Ralphie," she said, "and it's so much fun to be somebody who is deeply in love with somebody else and they have no clue."
Both kids and their nine fellow child actors begin their day early.
"She starts at 7 a.m. and doesn't get home until 9 p.m.," said Ally's mom, Chris. "And she goes straight from school to rehearsal. They don't get to come home in between."
The actors' mothers both noted how wonderful the kids' teachers have been in accommodating this special opportunity.
"I expect good grades from Ally," Chris Ioannides said, "and it's been tough to fit it all in."
The kids spend the bulk of their Sundays catching up and getting ahead on the upcoming week's homework.
"Ally and I do math on the way down (Parleys Canyon) and during our breaks. We have a break every hour," Mason said.
PTC has had to keep a tight schedule, with the bulk of their actors — 11 of the 15-person cast — still in school.
"I love to volunteer, but they hire professionals," said Ally's mom. "They prefer parents not be present during rehearsal. We are responsible for getting them to and from, making sure they're well-fed, well-rested and focused."
The almost all-child cast required the theater to hire a "child wrangler" whose job is just to look after the little stars. "A Christmas Story" only has four adults.
"I love the adults in the cast," said Ally, who wants to be an actress. She added that she "looks up to them. They're so professional and such good actors."
Mason loves them for different reasons. "They're super-nice, especially the guy who plays my old man (Don Burroughs). He has abs of steel, and he lets all the kids have go and punch him in the abs," Mason laughs. "Then he'll say, 'Are you hurt?' " He's really funny."
"I think that all families should come out and see the show. It's very funny, and I think everyone will walk away feeling good," said Chris Ioannides.
And Ally agrees. "When my mom and I were reading the script, we were cracking up the whole time. Imagine the movie, but 10 times better and funnier!"
Even with the grueling, six-week schedule, both the moms and kids agree it's worth the sacrifice.
"It has been really positive," said Mason's mom. "The director expects a lot out of these kids, which is great. And Mason comes home from rehearsal in a good mood. As a mom, that is great. You know, so much of being a parent is running your kids around and making sure they're doing what they're supposed to," she said, "but when you're a parent in the audience and your kid is on stage … it's one of those magical moments for a mom. Where you say 'Aahahhhh.' It's just one of the sweetest moments as a parent."
If you go…
What: "A Christmas Story," Pioneer Theatre Company regional premiere
Where: Simmons Pioneer Memorial Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East
When: Dec. 4-19, times vary
How Much: $22-$40
Phone: 801-581-6961
e-mail: ehansen@desnews.com