ARMORED — ★1/2 — Columbus Short, Matt Dillon, Laurence Fishburne; rated PG-13 (violence, profanity); in general release
Thirty minutes into "Armored," we're shown the heist. It's an inside job, security guards knocking over their own armored trucks. And their newest member, Ty (Columbus Short) needs indoctrination.
"There's no bad guys," the leader of the pack (Matt Dillon) purrs. "Nobody'll get hurt."
Thirty minutes of that kind of talk, of us seeing the new guard's Iraq War wounds, his troubled kid brother, his financial problems. Thirty minutes of "We're not letting the bank take your house."
The pitch, far-fetched as it sounds — $42 million, they'll pretend they were hijacked — is hard to resist, if you're desperate.
Thirty minutes in, we see the plan click into place. And five minutes later, the heist goes wrong. Somebody does get hurt. And Ty doesn't just want out. He wants to stop his "brothers" to save a wounded cop.
Director Nimrod Antal showed so much promise when he delivered that minimalist Hungarian subway thriller "Kontroll" that it's a shock how pedestrian this potentially gritty story looks and plays. The camera is almost always locked-down when it should be, as in a few moments when we see action through a shaking rear-view mirror, jumpy and nervous. There's one arresting shot — a chase, on foot, viewed through the tiny holes in a long row of stacked pipes. The staging and editing are by-the-book and static.
And the actors? Dillon and Short share a couple of acting tics — nervously scratching their heads (Short's just copying Dillon, who is known for this) and a tendency to run a hand across their respective faces in mute frustration.
Supporting players Laurence Fishburne, Jean Reno, Skeet Ulrich and Amaury Nolasco have their contractual "one big moment" each, but not one of those moments is big enough.
And the sometimes absurd plot points are as forgettable as the abandoned LA industrial park this was shot in is over-familiar.
That's what "Armored" is — over-familiar and industrial, a factory film made because a recycled script, minimal budget, a location, a grab-bag cast and some armored trucks were available.
"Armored" is rated PG-13 for sequences of intense violence, some disturbing images and brief strong language. Running time: 88 minutes.