If I were there to greet Michael Vick when he is released from jail in a couple of months, I would have just one question for him.
It wouldn't pertain to that dog-fighting business and the gruesome houses of dog torture in Virginia. We know enough about that sick affair already.
I wouldn't ask him about his life in prison and the hourly wage of 12 cents he earned in there, although I am curious about it.
I wouldn't inquire about his future in football, which is bleak (always overrated, he was more a product of Madison Avenue than anything he did on the field).
I would ask him this:
How does a guy who "earned" — and I use that term loosely — a combined $22 million in 2006 and 2007 become bankrupt?
How does a guy who, according to Forbes, collected $37.5 million in 2004 and owned a record $130 million contract to play football, run out of money?
How does a guy who had endorsement contracts with Nike, EA Sports, Coke, Powerade, Kraft, Rawlings and Hasbro owe millions to creditors — $20.4 million, according to court records?
It would be a full-time job just trying to spend that much money. You'd have to try.
You'd also have to be an idiot.
When Vick leaves prison, he might wish he were back behind bars. A long line of creditors is waiting for him. It turns out Vick had Bernie Madoff's spending habits. His motto (or logic) was Patrick Ewing's motto: "Sure NBA players make a lot of money, but we spend a lot too."
Vick is seeking protection from his creditors; what he really needs is protection from himself.
Let's roll the highlight tape of Vick's spending spree:
He bought a house for $918,000 shortly after beginning his pro playing career. Two years later, he bought a house in the same neighborhood for nearly $4 million.
He bought four more houses in Virginia and began to build another.
He bought a condo in Miami Beach.
He bought part of two farms.
He bought six horses for $450,000.
He bought two boats worth a total of $225,000.
He bought a Bentley, two Land Rovers, Cadillacs, an Infiniti SUV and sedan, two Ford pickups, a Dodge, a Chevrolet and the Mercedes.
He bought $450,000 worth of jewelry, including watches, bracelets, diamond stud earrings and a charm inscribed, "World is Mine." Or was.
He bought expensive cars for his mother, sister and two women with whom he fathered children. For his mother, he made monthly payments of $4,700 for her mortgage and $2,100 for her two Cadillacs. In all, he spent $375,000 a year to pay monthly bills for the mothers of his children and for his own mother.
He spent $201,840 the day he went to jail, including $99,000 for a Mercedes — a goodbye present for himself, I suppose.
According to Forbes, from Aug. 27, 2007 — the day he pleaded guilty to the dog-fighting charges — until Nov. 19 — the day he went to jail — he spent $3,627,291. This included $85,000 on a fish pond, $48,257 for landscaping and $64,000 for a Chevrolet and a Ford.
Vick is the latest in a long line of Athletes Who Are Idiots With Money. Next: A government bailout plan for pro athletes who squandered their riches.
Evander Holyfield discovered he couldn't afford to pay the various mothers of his nine children and keep a mansion that included 109 rooms, 17 bathrooms and a bowling alley. The bank foreclosed on his house.
Jack Clark owned 18 cars when he went broke. Well, "owned" might be the wrong term here. He owed money on 17 of them.
The bank repossessed Latrell Sprewell's 74-foot yacht and foreclosed on his house. This was after he referred to himself as "The American dream." It was also after he turned down a contract offer worth nearly $30 million over three years and called it insulting. "I got my family to feed," he said famously.
We shouldn't be surprised that the Toronto Star once reported that 60 percent of NBA players are bankrupt within five years after retiring from the game.
Mike Tyson filed for bankruptcy, and all he did was earn about $400 million in the boxing ring. He reportedly spent $9 million on two years' worth of legal fees, $230,000 on pagers and cell phones, $410,000 on a birthday party, $8,100 for the care of his pet tigers and $65,000 for limousine services.
Vick was on top of the world a few years ago, and, like so many his peers, he thought it would always be so. "People will always love Michael Vick," he said at the time.
E-MAIL: drob@desnews.com