She's raising her own child now in a country where the language is foreign, many of her family is absent and the future brings the unknown.
But Valentine Mukundente said it was in her native Rwanda in the throes of genocide that her own mother taught her the depth and sacrifice that motherhood brings.
Through tears she described how her mother wanted to hide from attackers in the small shelter of a closet — a closet much too small to accommodate the children.
Seeing that fear and distress taught her about motherhood, she said Saturday during a panel discussion titled "Faith, Love and Elbow Grease: An International Celebration of Motherhood."
Sponsored by the Salt Lake offices of the International Rescue Committee, the event highlighted the views of six mothers, including Mukundente and Day Day, who came to the United States from Thailand.
It was moderated by Deseret News reporter and columnist Lois M. Collins. Along with the panel discussion, the event featured the photography of Stanna Frampton Coury, whose black and white collection captured the simple bonds of mother and child, no matter which country of origin.
Both refugee women said motherhood in the United States differs sharply from their home countries, where children are more likely to be cared for at no cost by relatives, but educational and health-care opportunities are negligible.
Although Mukundente lamented the cost of "everything" in the United States, she made it plain that the price is worth it.
"It's not just being an American, it's being in a safe country. It's not about having a car, a nice big house, it's about being safe. Nobody is going to try to come kill you for no reason."
Still, this country presents its own challenges for mothers, and she fears the vast array of influences lurking for her 1-year-old son. "I worry about crime problems. It's difficult for kids in America to obey their parents. They are exposed to so many things when they are young. They get in with bad companies, bad people."
Day, whose daughter was also born in this country, said she dreams of her daughter growing up to be a doctor. "I am really happy being a mother here," she said.
"Education is a big difference. Here, every child and kid has to go to school."
Coury said her work on the project began to instill in her an awareness of how fortunate she is living in the United States.
"I really didn't understand until I started doing the photographing. I probably still don't fully understand."
Like Mukundente, Day cried when she talked about her own mother, and she admits she gets lonely at times. And then her daughter "smiles at me, I smile back and she gives me the encouragement to do everything."
E-mail: amyjoi@desnews.com