Something happened on the way to poking fun at BYU's on-campus TV services nixing ESPN from its lineup.
Then I turned on the all-sports channel Wednesday morning.
What I saw was ESPN's overcooked, inflated, hour-upon-hour speculation
put to loop over whether Brett Favre would creep out of retirement and
sign with the Minnesota Vikings.
After this droned on for hours, I actually thought of turning the
channel to "The View," something I try to avoid like piggy flu.
I was all set to make this column about the absolute need for ESPN on
BYU's campus, part of the package piped through student housing at
Helaman Halls, Heritage Halls, Wymount Terrace and Wyview Park.
This past week, BYU switched from analog to digital on campus, anticipating the industry's switchover to digital signal.
As it turned out, the ESPN programming packages cost as much as all
other channels combined that the university considered in the digital
lineup. In a cost-cutting measure by the administration, a decision was
made to take ESPN out of the lineup.
The cost, they said, could not be justified.
"We decided to keep all the channels we have currently, except for
ESPN, based on the cost of that package," according to Todd
Hollingshead, University Communications information and financial
manager.
In its place, BYU will run CBS College Sports, which has its own
wrap-up shows, scoreboards and game broadcasts that include the
Mountain West.
That, of course, opened up a door for a little fun commentary.
ESPN has become sort of an institution, a rite of passage for sports
fans. From its plays of the day to College GameDay festivities, it is
part of our culture.
I envisioned a column projecting a setting at LaVell Edwards Stadium next September with visiting Florida State from the ACC.
A sportswriter from Tallahassee approaches the cute, kind, cherubic
hostess in the press box and asks where the coffee machine is located.
"Sorry, sir, we don't serve coffee here."
Perplexed, the reporter asks where he can get a Diet Coke.
"Sorry, sir, we don't serve caffeinated soda drinks here."
Panicked, the writer asks where he can go to have a quick smoke.
"Sorry, sir, that is not allowed."
On edge, the visitor from Florida asks if could simply get a refreshing glass of iced tea.
"Sorry, sir, that is not served."
Frustrated, the puzzled reporter decides he wants to check on scores
from around the ACC and tune in to some SEC games, Florida or Alabama
on ESPN, so he turns to the giant Mitsubishi screen in the press room
and finds a Wyoming vs. New Mexico game prominently on display.
He kindly asks a BYU representative to see if somebody could switch the channel to ESPN.
"Sorry, sir," he is told. "We don't subscribe to that channel on campus."
You can see the story line where that commentary would have headed
since the sign at the entrance of the campus is "The World is Our
Campus."
Then I tuned in to ESPN Wednesday morning, just after breakfast.
The Favre Watch, and what he may do had a life of its own. I saw a poll
asking if he should play for the Vikings, call an NFL game or go
fishing this season.
I listened to endless analysis from taking heads, a piece from Feb. 13
with Favre saying he'd never play again, masters of speculation who
were interviewed and claimed that Minnesota sources say he and coach
Brad Childress will talk soon, a debate on how Favre should be treated
if he does play and how good will he be if he tries.
Blah, blah, blah.
It got so deep, I almost welcomed a clip from the NHL, and that's sad
because that's usually when I take a hockey break and get something
done around the house for a few minutes until stuff I care about
reappears on TV.
Anyway, you get the idea. Life without ESPN is possible. At least until
ESPN and the MWC quit squabbling and we have leagues, teams and scores
that are neglected by ESPN.
A point of fact. BYU's athletic department has separate satellite
services that do subscribe to ESPN, Fox Sports and every existing
sports program so video coordinators can secure game tape of opponents
for coaches. This extends to LaVell Edwards Stadium, where ESPN feeds
can be used in the press box, according to department spokesman Duff
Tittle.
Student housing, and pockets of TV communications on campus, are on another loop.
In an era where our economy has cratered, it is certainly justified if
not proper and responsible for a big school or business to look at ways
to cut costs.
In a time where you can get everything on the Internet, being glued to ESPN for information just might be out of vogue.
Finally, there's always those apartments of off-campus friends who have
cable TV. If that doesn't work and it's a must, head for Iggy's or
Chili's.
Or, maybe you like going waist-deep in Favre coverage, where you can
speculate what the Jets got for one year and $12 million the last time
around.
In that case, if I was a student who felt deprived, I'd move a few blocks off campus and try to make it in the real world.
But truthfully, it can be done. One can survive without ESPN on TV if you have a computer or a smart phone.
E-mail: dharmon@desnews.com