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The success of Transformers' is not about Megan Fox

Sometimes, I tend to take things too personally.

For instance, when tattooed hottie Megan Fox responded to an interview request for the "Transformers" sequel with a curt: "Get away from me, you stupid old man," I took it personally.

Then something unexpected happened. The movie made $60 million on a Wednesday, making it the second biggest Wednesday opening of all time behind "The Dark Knight" ($67 million).

Unfortunately, I cannot ignore a movie that makes $60 million on a Wednesday, even if one of the stars of the movie instructed me to "Get away from me, you stupid old man."

It's important for me to know why a movie makes $60 million on a Wednesday. And the only way to know why a movie makes $60 million on a Wednesday is to watch the movie with some of the people who spent that $60 million. Well, in the case of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen," most of those people didn't actually spend the $60 million. It was their parents.

Being professional was only part of the logic I used to justify seeing this movie when someone associated with the movie dismissed me as a stupid old man.

Megan probably didn't say those words — at least not out loud.

I suspect that it was her personal publicist who rejected my request to interview her client, who is such a big star. The actress probably never heard of me, or even knew of my request.

I'm sure if she met me and got to know me, she would tell me, "Get away from me, you stupid old man."

But she hasn't met me, so I shouldn't take the rejection personally.

Instead, I did the right thing and paid good money to see the dumbest movie that ever made $60 million on a Wednesday. But this isn't about me. It's usually about me, but not this time.

This time, it's about the young fans of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen."

And I assume they're young because the six boys sitting behind me were so small that their legs didn't reach far enough to kick the back of my seat incessantly for two hours and 30 minutes.

Once I accepted the idea that these little boys were not going to annoy me, I relaxed and settled in with my overpriced popcorn and box of Goobers, and felt optimistic, despite the fact that I didn't like the original "Transformers." I had high hopes for the sequel, even though you can count on one hand the sequels that were better than the original.

My plan was to listen closely to the boys behind me to determine what exactly excited them so much about these "Transformers" movies.

This is a totally scientific study. But like all totally scientific studies, the findings are reached not by simply looking at the data, but interpreting the data.

So, I caution you not to reach any hasty conclusions as you read the following data. Think about what you read. Take as much time as you need because your conclusions might surprise you. It may not be as obvious as you first assume.

And I am required by law to mention that there is a 80 percent margin of error, plus or minus.

Action on screen: First appearance of Shia LaBeouf.

Reaction of boys: Silence (so much for star power).

Action on screen: Robot turns into something.

Reaction of boys: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Action on screen: Megan Fox runs in slow motion, breasts heaving and midriff showing.

Reaction of boys: Silence (karma is a bitch, isn't it, Megan?).

Action on screen: Robot turns into something.

Reaction of boys: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Action on screen: Josh Duhamel looks studly in a Special Forces uniform.

Reaction of boys: Silence (even though he's married to Fergie).

Action on screen: Robot turns into something.

Reaction of boys: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Action on screen: Sam freaks out in an astronomy class.

Reaction of boys: Silence.

Action on screen: Robot turns into something.

Reaction of boys: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Action on screen: Rainn Wilson pops up in a small role as a crazy college professor.

Reaction of boys: Silence.

Action on screen: Robot turns into something.

Reaction of boys: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Action on screen: John Turturro is hysterical in a scene in his mother's deli.

Reaction of boys: Silence.

Action on screen: Robot turns into something.

Reaction of boys: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Action on screen: Sam's parents are kidnapped.

Reaction of boys: Silence.

Action on screen: Robot turns into something.

Reaction of boys: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Action on screen: Beloved non-human meets untimely demise.

Reaction of boys: Silence.

Action on screen: Robot turns into something.

Reaction of boys: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Action on screen: The very existence of Earth is at stake in a climactic battle that includes murder, mayhem and cool explosions.

Reaction of boys: Silence, mixed with occasional bursts of "Yeaaaaaaaaaaa" when robots turn into something.

Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.