Cindy Stanley gets a little frustrated because she can't run a 5K quite as fast as she once did. Of course, she's 54 years old now, so maybe that's to be expected.
And she feels bad that she managed to complete only around 10 miles for her team, the Zena Road Warriors, in the recent Wasatch Back Relay race before heat exhaustion got the best of her.
But hey, maybe she deserves a break.
After all, Cindy Stanley is blind.
Eleven years ago — on July 3, 1998 — Stanley lost control of her new car, a Pontiac Grand Am she had just purchased a week earlier, and the vehicle rolled five times while she was returning home with her daughter, a niece and two grandchildren from a trip to Lava Hot Springs in Idaho. Cindy and her 22-year-old daughter, who suffered serious ankle and wrist injuries, were knocked unconscious in the crash.
An avid distance runner who had participated in several marathons and ran in some sort of race almost every weekend, Stanley spent 28 days in a coma before she awoke at McKay-Dee Hospital.
"I thought I was dreaming, because I couldn't see anybody," Stanley said. "I had no idea I was blind; I had no idea I'd been in an accident. I don't even remember buying the car. I lost about 3 months. It was weird.
"I just thought, 'Hey, let's go to the hospital and we'll fix it.' That was the worst day of my whole life," she said, getting emotional as she recalled how a nurse told her the damage to her optic nerve was permanent. "I thought, 'There's no way, I can't be blind.' It was pretty bad. We all thought it could be fixed, and we bawled all the way home."
She also suffered a herniated disc in her neck and seriously injured her left arm, damaging the nerves to the point where she still has very limited use of it and her hand. Despite the loss of her eyesight, she still considers the pain in her arm and shoulder, and subsequently being unable to use her hand, as the worst part of the accident.
What most of us would consider as relatively simple, everyday tasks — tying her shoes, zipping up her pants, fastening her bra — are very difficult to do with one hand, especially since she cannot see.
She attended a school for the blind for a year, re-learning how to do various things. She had suffered a traumatic brain injury, so she had to learn to walk and talk again. And the hospital's use of a respirator while she was comatose had permanently damaged her vocal cords.
She admits she understandably suffered the "poor me" syndrome and was bitter about her circumstances for awhile, but those feelings eventually faded.
Then her niece, Trisha — wearing small bells on her shoes — persuaded Cindy to come and follow her around the track at Roy High School. Cindy got a treadmill, and, with determined, daily workouts, she began the slow, arduous process of retraining herself to run again.
She eventually completed her improbable comeback by doing a triathlon — complete with swimming and biking — in 2003 at Seattle. And, thanks to the help of her longtime running partner, Tracey Scadden, and more recently Sharon Crowton — who runs with her while being tethered to her — Cindy has participated in numerous road races over the past several years.
"I used to run a 5K in 22 minutes," Cindy said. "I don't worry about my time any more. Now, I just want to finish the race.
"I love running. My counselor said to try and do everything I used to do before my accident. For me, running works like therapy."
Cindy is an amazing example of how the indomitable human spirit can overcome and conquer even the most serious forms of adversity.
"She doesn't feel like she's anything neat or special," said her husband of four-plus years, Norm Stanley. "She speaks in public, in church or to young women's groups, but she doesn't really want or ask for any recognition.
"She just hopes to pay something back, trying to help people learn that you don't give up. That's the message here — no matter what happens to you, don't ever give up."
Cindy's upbeat, positive attitude, like her unyielding determination, is absolutely amazing.
"If I can be an inspiration to anybody, it would be wonderful," she said humbly.
Cindy, who resides in Roy, admits she was not very religious as a young person but began to grow closer to the Lord as she got older. She had just finished taking LDS Temple preparation classes a few months prior to her accident.
"That relationship with the Savior is so important and helped me get through this," she said. "I've said so many prayers, and I feel like he has blessed me so much and has given me so much strength to deal with all the trials in my life."
Her faith in the Lord isn't the only thing that buoys her up, however.
"Cindy's got some serious legs," Norm said with a laugh.
Yes, and an amazingly brave, courageous heart and spirit that, despite devastating obstacles, will never give up.
E-MAIL: rhollis@desnews.com