SHORTS — ★ — Jimmy Bennett, Jolie Vanier, James Spader; rated PG (violence, vulgarity, slurs, brief drugs); in general release
It's kind of cool that Robert Rodriguez keeps involving his children in his filmmaking.
Together, he and his five kids (especially son Racer Max) have conceived such movie projects as the "Spy Kids" trilogy, "The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl" and now, "Shorts."
While they probably had fun doing it, it's not so cool that he keeps inflicting those projects on the general populace. While the first "Spy Kids" had some modest charms, the subsequent films have been getting worse as they go. "Shorts," a dopey kids adventure film, is the lamest of the bunch.
It's a brightly colored headache of a movie with lowbrow humor and obnoxious characters that will be just as much of an irritant to children as it is to their parents.
As title suggests, the movie is made up of a series of short pieces, all of them featuring the same characters and situations.
The main character is Toby Thompson (Jimmy Bennett), or "Toe" as he's better known by his meaner-spirited classmates.
This 11-year-old has found a magical, multicolored "wishing rock" that grants him whatever he requests.
But that power creates various dilemmas. Should Toe save his parents (Jon Cryer and Leslie Mann) from being fired by their tyrannical boss, Black (James Spader)? Or should he keep his stressed-out folks from killing each other?
Or perhaps he should stop his classmate Helvetica Black (Jolie Vanier) — yep, she's related to his parents' boss — from bullying him and others.
Rodriguez also looks in on Toe's estranged friend, Nose (Jake Short), and his germ-phobic father (William H. Macy), as well as newfound pal Loogie (Trevor Gagnon) and his brothers (Leo Howard and Rebel Rodriguez, another of the filmmaker's children).
Unfortunately, the only really amusing thing here is the pre-movie short focusing on the Blinkers, a brother and sister (Cambell Westmoreland and Zoe Webb) who are involved in a dayslong staring contest.
"Shorts" is rated PG and features strong violent action (bullying, creature attacks, vehicular and explosive mayhem, and children-in-peril elements), some slapstick violence (pratfalls and such), crude humor and references (all involving various bodily functions and substances), derogatory language and slurs, and brief drug content and references (antiseptics and antibacterials). Running time: 89 minutes.
e-mail: jeff@desnews.com