OREM — It didn't seem like a fair situation to Benjamin Kjar at the time.
Kjar remembers watching his brothers compete in a Little Viking wrestling tournament around the time he was in kindergarten. When they finished the tournament and went to get medals they had won, Kjar was thrown into dismay.
He thought he should get a medal, too. And he wasted no time letting his mother know it. Kjar remembers crying and pulling on her pant leg, complaining that he wanted a medal.
In the end, his protests won out. Kjar had his medal. It was a tiny one and he has long since forgotten what color it was. But the only thing that mattered to Kjar is his determination to get the same honor his brothers had received won out that day.
"It's just funny to realize, even before I wrestled, the competitive spirit I had," Kjar said.
A competitive nature continues to aid Kjar in making the most of his time on the mat and, these days, he has no trouble earning his share of medals and other honors in the 125-pound weight class.
In the midst of his third season at Utah Valley University, Kjar has risen up to be counted among the nationally elite in his sport. He is ranked No. 14 in the NCAA and is already the all-time wins leader for the Wolverines. The junior grappler also set a single-season record for victories after going 39-9 during his freshman campaign at UVU.
For those who know Kjar best, what he has already accomplished is such a short time offers ample evidence of the traits that set him apart from the average wrestler.
"He's very driven," said UVU head coach Greg Williams. "He's very goal-oriented. He's done that since the time I knew him in 7th grade. He's willing to work for whatever goals that he has — no matter how much effort that takes. And he has the gifts that you need."
Kjar's successes on the mat are not surprising, given the rich wrestling background in his family. His uncle, Greg Kjar, wrestled at BYU. Another uncle, Shandell Smoot, ended up being crowned a national champion when he wrestled for Ricks College. Smoot also helped shape Viewmont High into a 5A wrestling power. Kjar enjoyed the fruits of those labors personally when he competed on the Vikings' first state championship team in 2002.
Williams also helped set Kjar on his current path as his club coach during his junior high and high school years. In fact, it was Williams' presence that drew Kjar to return to his home state.
Originally Kjar had committed to wrestle for Oklahoma out of high school. After serving an LDS mission, he learned that Williams had been hired on as the head coach at Utah Valley. For Kjar, that made it an easy decision to come back to Utah and continue wrestling here.
"I knew him and he knew me personally," Kjar said. "We already had that relationship tie. We already had all those things going. I trusted him and I had done really well under his guidance and under his coaching."
For Williams, netting a wrestler of Kjar's caliber was a major recruiting coup for the young Wolverine program. He had just four scholarships available when he recruited him. But Williams knew he needed Kjar in the fold. After seeing him win three state titles and three national titles at Viewmont, he knew right away Kjar would be an important building block for UVU.
So he offered Kjar a full-ride scholarship to come to Orem.
"He was our foundation," Williams said. "He was the first person we wanted to build the program around."
Having a wrestler of Kjar's caliber has helped Williams surround him with other talented grapplers. Some are approaching his elite level. Flint Ray, a 133- pounder, is also ranked among the top 25 nationally. Another teammate, Brad Darrington, is on the verge of being nationally ranked with his success in the 174-pound weight class.
Seeing their success offers a measure of satisfaction to Kjar. He has made an effort to act as a mentor and teacher to the younger wrestlers on the team. Seeing them propel both themselves and the entire program forward has only offered extra motivation to him.
"The guys here have given up a lot," Kjar said. "We got a lot of transfers from other big schools. These guys are awesome. They're basically making it what it is."
One thing above all that's still driving Kjar are twin goals of becoming an All-American and placing at the NCAA Tournament at the end of the season. For Kjar, realizing those goals will be the measuring stick for how truly successful this season will end up being.
National rankings are nice. Earning victories and setting school records always feel good. All of those achievements will feel incomplete to Kjar, though, if he doesn't finish out in the way he envisioned even while still wrestling for state championships at Viewmont.
"I always knew that I'd be there and I'd do well and I'd have a chance to be there (again)," Kjar said. "And so, now is the time for me to be there."
Everyone who knows Kjar understands his latest goals will not go unrealized. One way or another, he will make everything unfold the way it is supposed to unfold.
And, once more, it will offer up evidence of a competitive spirit always present in his life.
"I hate losing," Kjar said. "I'm pretty competitive when it comes to that. I don't like losing at all."
e-mail: jcoon@desnews.com