Recently I read in the Deseret News: "No neglect in toddler's drowning at Bear Lake resort." Further in to the article it said, "It's just a matter of lots of noise and commotion going on, and she hadn't gone anywhere near the adult pool ... the adults were playing with different kids at different times, and she just got away from somebody. Someone just took their eyes off her for a second."
My heart broke, as it does every time I hear of a drowning or accidental death. I feel so bad for those who are involved. It happens so fast. No one necessarily does anything wrong, it usually is just a matter of distraction or misunderstanding, or simply a mistake was made.
We all make mistakes every day of our lives, that is part of being human, and yet sometimes the consequences are devastating, so unforgiving.
One of the consequences of life altering mistakes is that those parties involved often spend the rest of their life beating themselves up over it. They play that day, moment or time period over and over in their mind, and calculate what they could have, or should have been done differently. Unfortunately, they struggle to forgive themselves and move on.
I will never forget a talk I heard at BYU by Elder Dallin Oaks, where he shared the differences between sins and mistakes. He stressed the importance of not treating a sin as if it were only a mistake, or treating a mistake as if it were a sin.
I couldn't help but think of all the times my employees made mistakes, and I over reacted as if it were a sin. I thought of the "spilled milk" or insignificant messes my nieces and nephews had made and how I sometimes got a little dramatic. I couldn't help but think of the times I showed disappointment in my friends, when they did not handle something the way I had wished, and perhaps I responded as if they had sinned.
In most cases, they were usually just mistakes or human error, not sins.
On the other hand, I regrettably thought of the times I had sinned and brushed it off as if it were a mistake.
When life doesn't go the way we expected, dreamed or planned for, we often over analyze the "whys." We look at every decision, choice, job, opportunity, and wonder if we handled it right. There are those who have divorced widowed or lost a loved one, and they struggle with what they might have done differently, many times punishing themselves over how they handled or mishandled things. Of course, those who have never married are often rehearsing their past wondering if or how they turned left while the rest of the world turned right, asking themselves how this happened and what they should have done differently.
I would suggest that most of the time, we are beating ourselves up over "mistakes," and most of our regrets are spent on our mistakes versus our sins.
As Elder Oaks says, both mistakes and sins require attention, and both require mercy. But it is sin that requires chastening and repentance. He didn't say that mistakes require chastening and repentance.
I have just read an incredible book titled "Weakness is Not Sin." It seemed to go hand in hand with Elder Oaks talk.
Wendy Ulrich points out, "Calling sin weakness can lead to failure to repent, a failure that is fatal to our souls. But calling weakness sin can also have devastating consequences: hopelessness, helplessness, undermined growth and learning, and compromised faith in Jesus Christ, our Savior."
We have all made mistakes and we all sin. Sometimes we can give more intensity, regret and attention to our mistakes, while treating much too casually our sins.
Wendy says, "Sin can take us to hell. Weakness can take us to heaven."
Our mistakes and our weaknesses play an important role in our growth and development; they are a blessing in our lives if we allow them to humble us and encourage us to turn to Christ for strength, healing and direction. We need not beat ourselves up over the mistakes in our lives, but use them as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Whether we are in "Holland" or "Italy," we make mistakes and we sin. If we can just remember the difference between sins and mistakes, and act and respond accordingly, I know we will be blessed.