Before I entered the Utah State Prison, I have to admit, I was anticipating a group of hard-hearted detached women. I was not prepared for what I saw and felt. Many were happy, some were optimistic, several were humble and most were teachable.
I was asked to give a fireside to these LDS women, and, honestly, was it not for their clothing, I would not have been able to notice a difference from them compared to any other women's conference I have spoken at. Just like any other fireside or conference, there were those who were busy taking notes, while others were nodding and hanging on every word, as well as those who only showed up because their friends were going.
The message I shared was a thought from Stephen R. Covey: "A private victory always precedes a public victory." Public victories include the New Orleans Saints winning the Super Bowl last year, receiving a college degree, competing in the Olympics, fulfilling a mission or running a successful company. It could also mean getting out of bed every morning, attending church, fulfilling callings, being true to covenants and having a happy marriage.
Public victories are a result of private battles that were turned into private victories. There may have been injuries, family problems, health issues, financial struggles and, most certainly, endless and unseen hours of training, studying, working and trading the more enjoyable moments in life for a life of discipline.
I reassured these women that they, too, could have a public victory someday — a successful mother, wife, employee, friend, neighbor and citizen, etc., — as long as they had some private victories first.
There are many private victories one could have while in prison, but I only mentioned four. First was the value of focusing only on the colors they do have versus what they don't have ("We have the colors to be happy"). The second stressed the importance of finding and following the spiritual music ("Find the music!"). The third was helping them to see how harboring a victim mentality will stop any change or progress in their lives ("Help Wanted: victims need not apply").
Lastly, I shared the Old Testament story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and how they refused to worship King Nebuchadnezzar instead of our Heavenly Father (Daniel 3:14-25). He threatened to have them killed by throwing them into a fiery furnace if they would not worship him. They refused.
King Nebuchadnezzar's servants prepared the furnace by heating it seven times hotter than usual. It was so hot that even the soldiers casting these boys into the burning hot flames perished. These three faithful young men were now in the midst of the greatest trial of their lives. As we learn in the scriptures, they were not burned. The king could not believe his eyes when he saw them walking around in the fire, but he was just as surprised to see a fourth person in the furnace with them, who was described as "like the Son of God."
In the midst of their greatest trial, these boys came face to face with the Son of God.
We, like these ladies in prison who are in the midst of certainly their greatest trial in life, have the great opportunity to face private battles in our lives. It is especially during those times of trial that we should fall to our knees and call for divine help. With our spiritual eyes we are able to see the divine intervention in our lives, and our private battles eventually become our private victories.
We all have our battles. It may be loneliness, depression, painful unmet expectations, abuse, hurt, physical challenges, broken hearts or loss. Before we can experience public victories in our lives, which may include gaining self-respect, finding happiness with our circumstances, healing a broken heart and achieving the feeling of being validated or whole again, we must have private victories.
As we focus on the Savior, we can turn these private battles into private victories.
I would imagine that the public victory that each of us seek is to return home to the presence of our Heavenly Father, but it's a public victory that will not come without having private victories first. The victory of saying personal prayers, getting to know God through the scriptures, keeping covenants, and being selfless, humble, obedient and a person of integrity are just a few steps that will help us obtain the public victory we seek.
This all can seem overwhelming, but step-by-step, day-by-day with divine help, we can have private victories in our lives. One thing I learned is that these ladies in prison are fighting the same battle we fight every single day, and that battle is between good and evil. They fight it behind bars, while we fight it in our homes, on the Internet, in our associations and our work place, etc. The landscape is different, but the battle is the same. They will find strength, answers and direction the same way we will, by turning to the Lord.
Some of us will go through life taking notes, some will hang on to every word, and some will go along for the ride, but each will have the opportunity to spiritually come face to face with the Savior.