BILL COSBY, Kingsbury Hall, Feb. 12.
Before he had even spoken, comedic legend Bill Cosby got a standing round of applause from the audience Friday night at Kingsbury Hall.
Cosby, who entered clad in a red Utah Utes sweatshirt and sweatpants, announced to the cheering crowd, "You're very lucky this sweatshirt is not performing tonight."
The laughter didn't stop for the following two hours as Cosby covered every topic from aging to the mystery of where, exactly, turkey bacon comes from (hint: Nobody, not even his butcher, really knows).
Known for his family-centric humor, Cosby used childhood memories to explain the difference between parents and grandparents.
As a child, Cosby said he loved to play with the family's gas stove. He recalls one time when he was caught experimenting with gas and matches in his small kitchen when he thought no one was home.
"The next thing I knew I was airborne, backwards, going over the kitchen table, laughing," Cosby said. "I landed in the corner, pieces of my clothes on fire and I smelled burnt hair and I was just laughing. "
"Then my mother came in and saw me, and she grabbed the broom," he said. "See that's the thing about mothers, if you do something stupid they get so mad they want to kill you. She started beating me with a broom, and she wasn't even trying to put the fire out."
What did he learn?
"Not to do it when she's around," Cosby said.
Grandparents, who Cosby describes as "smooth," have a different approach to dealing with kids.
"I'm sitting there with the gas going again and grandpa he walked in and saw what I was doing, turned around and started to walk back out," Cosby said. "As the door was closing behind him he said, 'I wouldn't do that if I were you.'"
Cosby also attempted to explain the difference between men and women.
"A diamond is a girl's best friend," Cosby said, "and a man's best friend is his dog."
Continuing with the marriage theme, Cosby proposed a new idea for walking down the aisle.
"The father giving the bride away makes no sense," Cosby said, talking to grooms. "She should be coming down the aisle with your mother. See, that way the groom can see his whole life. Here comes the woman who brought him into this world, bringing with her the woman who is going to take you out."
Known for his weaving story lines, Cosby assured first-time audience members that it was just how he tells stories and not dementia or senility setting in.
At 72 and still going strong, it seems Cosby won't have to worry about senility anytime soon.
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