There have been times when my jaw has hit the floor and I swear it registered on the Richter scale. This week brought one of them.
On Monday, I took a call from a man who was livid. "I'm gonna take 'em to court," he railed, without offering any details, like he who was or what he wanted from me.
"Tell me what happened," I said.
"I just got this dog, and he's sick. I've already spent $700 at the vet clinic."
I asked him where he got the dog. And a few seconds later marks the point at which my face went slack-jawed.
"On eBay."
American author Edward Abbey once said, "In the modern techno-industrial culture, it is possible to proceed from infancy to senility without ever knowing manhood." This man is living proof of that theory.
He went on to tell me that his $100 bid bought him a dog on the popular Internet auction site, and that the seller met him at a gas station on the side of a highway to deliver the merchandise: One dog. No papers. What was he thinking?
He was thinking he wanted a dog and didn't want to spend a lot of money.
He was thinking he could learn everything he needed to know from pictures posted online alongside a brief description.
What was eBay thinking? You'd be hard-pressed to argue that providing a forum for the online auctioning of live animals is a reputable practice.
Turns out, eBay doesn't allow this practice. Under Rules and Policies in the membership section of its website, it has posted a list of prohibited and restricted items for sellers, and the list includes live animals. How active eBay is in enforcing their rules, I don't know. But it does provide a space for users to report violations.
Online communities policing themselves is not a new concept. And the idea isn't too far removed from the Neighborhood Watch groups that operate in many real-world communities. The key to the success of such organizations is that the majority of the players exercise sound judgment and a sense of responsibility. Instead of bidding on the dog, this man should have flagged the seller.
Anyone who wants to become a dog owner has a responsibility to educate themselves on what it takes to raise a puppy and what it means to live with a dog for upward of 15 years. You have to pinpoint why you want a dog — for protection, for companionship, for a special need, for the sheer joy of it — in order to know what kind of dog would be best for you. And you have to learn a little something about those breeds in order to narrow down the best match for your lifestyle and energy level.
Once you're through with that phase of your research and decision-making, you need face time with some living, breathing, three-dimensional canines before you seal the deal. Off the top of my head, our overpopulated shelters and rescues are a great place to start.
As for the angry man who wants to sue someone over his sick pup, I'd suggest he look in the mirror and sue the guy staring back at him. After all, he's the sucker who bought a dog on eBay.
Woof!
Dog trainer Matthew "Uncle Matty" Margolis is co-author of 18 books about dogs, a behaviorist, a popular radio and television guest, and host of the PBS series "WOOF! It's a Dog's Life!" Send your questions to dearuncle.gazette@unclematty.com or by mail to Uncle Matty at P.O. Box 3300, Diamond Springs, CA 95619. © Creators Syndicate Inc.