Since I starting writing this weekly column over the past two years, I have received many wonderfully positive and inspiring comments from readers, and I've appreciated every single one of them. So keep them coming!
One of these comments, in response to last week's article, has prompted me to write today about our sphere of influence. In essence, when does our influence start, how far does it extend and what does it look like? How can we leave this world a better place than we found it ... which to me is the true measure of having lived a successful life?
Our influence, for better or for worse, usually begins early on in our homes when we're just little children. It can start as a simple act of kindness of sharing our toys with those we choose to play with. We can invite the one kid in the playground who is sitting all alone to come and join us. An older child can help Mom with the youngest kids and provide much-needed assistance. The example of being of service hopefully will get passed down to the younger kids as we grow older and move out of the home.
Over the past several years I've had the opportunity to teach leadership courses in corporate and military settings. In those arenas, the issue of "who is leader" can easily be explained by the title attached to an individual's name. For example, the CEO is the leader of the entire company. The vice president of sales has an array of direct reports who hopefully follow his or her lead. In the military, I once worked with a general and his staff, which consisted of 30 colonels and lieutenant colonels. The general led them by example, and they in turn passed down his message and positive influence.
But leadership does not need a title, a degree after one's name or stars on a uniform. A leader is simply anyone who has influence over someone else. My oldest son has the opportunity to be a leader to his younger brother ... hopefully with benevolence! In normal homes, those with the most influence are usually the parents ... the question is, what kind of influence?
The responsibility therefore is enormous for parents to teach our kids right from wrong. The biggest factor of course is through our actions. Learning to be kind and loving, work hard, share, volunteer and give from the heart to those less fortunate are ALL examples of what we can teach at home. Learning to pray and develop our relationship with God, play and have fun, and participate in wholesome activities all start in the home.
Extended families can also play a vital role in influencing us. A loving grandmother, a playful uncle, a wise grandpa, an older cousin and many more within the family system can be tremendously influential.
By the way, the use of the words "extended families" goes far beyond those with whom we are biologically connected. I remember as kids my parents had many wonderful friends we called uncles and aunts who, although not really related to us, still had a positive influence on us. The core of families is not the genes that connect us but the love that we share.
The home, however, is only the start because as we get older and move on, our sphere of influence grows exponentially. Whether at school, church, Scouts, with sports teams or any other group or social interaction, we now have a much larger world within which we can play a positive role. So often I've heard of people saying how one teacher in middle school, or one youth leader, or a loving church leader, or even a friendly neighbor had such an amazing influence that it literally changed their lives. In our church we have opportunities to serve within our wards and stakes and beyond. How fortunate we are to be given opportunities each week to be influenced by our leaders and in return to provide leadership and share the gospel of love and light with those around us.
Sometimes in life we're put in a position where we can influence many more people. Public speaking, writing, performing or even serving in our communities can open doors to interactions with a multitude of people. However, we don't need to be well-known or a public figure to exert such an influence. With today's vast improvements in communication and especially with the explosion of social networks, the opportunities for our sphere of influence to grow are unprecedented.
In the last couple of years since I joined Facebook, I have seen and read more stories than ever before about faith, hope, acts of kindness and the overall goodness of mankind. I realize that social networking has its darker side, too, but the opportunities to be a voice of love, hope and faith make it worth it.
So here's the deal: If we want to leave a legacy of improving the world that we inherited, we must enlarge our sphere of influence. It may start small, as an older sibling helping a younger one, but in today's world, each one of us has the opportunity to make a significant difference in ways that just a few years ago would have been unimaginable.
So let's start today with a welcoming smile, a kind word, a warm embrace, and keep it growing. We can change someone's life and truly leave this earth a little, or a lot, better than we found it.