BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. — Adam Pally is a member of the ensemble cast of the ABC sitcom "Happy Endings." You've probably never heard of him before; you might never hear of him again.
However, writers at this summer's TV critics media tour will remember him. For all the wrong reasons.
Pally was the single worst interview on the tour. He sent the "Happy Endings" session off the rails into the news conference equivalent of a train wreck.
When the show-runners were asked if they were inspired by the film "The Graduate," Pally interjected, "Not familiar with that movie."
When cast members were asked if they ever experienced friends who had a bad break-up, Pally made up an answer.
"Yeah. My parents," he said. "It was just because their parenting technique was they wanted to be friends with us. So when they split up, it was, like, 'What are we going to do?' "
And that prompted executive producer David Caspe to say, "Do you want a real answer from one of the other cast members?"
"No," Pally said.
This is when I started saying out loud, "Stop it. You don't want to do this."
I should have said it louder.
Asked about his character, who is gay, Pally made sure everyone knew he was just acting.
"A lot of the feedback that I've gotten is, 'You're so great. Your performance is so amazing. How are you able to do that? So hard to believe. Women are attracted to you so heavily. It's insane to believe you cannot be straight,' " he said, stupidly and rather offensively.
He started it, but his cast mates helped make the train wreck more horrific. When one critic asked if it might pose a problem for viewers of the ensemble comedy because Elisha Cuthbert and Eliza Coupe look so similar, Coupe replied, "We discussed (that), I was going to wear, like, a bald cap as part of the show."
And Pally added, "All white women look alike."
And asked about the interracial couple on the show — played by Coupe and Damon Wayans Jr. — Coupe made up a stupid answer.
"Our relationship is real," Coupe said. "We're really together."
No, they're not.
After Cuthbert answered a question about her stint on "24," Pally felt the need to grab the spotlight again.
"Can I ask Elisha a '24' question?" he asked. "Because I am super interested. There's a lot of stuff that didn't get answered."
Cuthbert's response was what we all wanted to say.
"Shut up," she said.
When Wayans was asked about what it was like growing up in his famous family, Pally intruded again.
"I can answer for Damon. There's not a lot of humor in the Wayans family," he said. "It's very grim and quiet."
When that "joke" met with dead silence, Pally just plowed ahead.
"They actually all grew up in France," he added.
More dead silence.
And then he launched into yet another unfunny, untrue story.
"I used to date Dame Helen Mirren, and it was a bad breakup," Pally said. "And she broke up with me at Wimbledon. And it was really sad. It was horrible. And she did it the way some people would propose — on the big screen. So if any of you know her, tell her that I miss her."
This time, the dead silence was broken when one writer — as sweet and kind a woman as you'll ever meet — sort of slapped Pally back.
"You do know that sarcasm doesn't translate to print?" she asked, to scattered applause.
"I don't know what any of those words mean, so it doesn't matter," was the best Pally could come back with. And then he made his least true statement of the afternoon.
"This is going great for me," he said.
Yeah, well, not so much.
The actors are briefed by network publicists before they're interviewed. They're warned about how to behave and how not to behave. They're told not to try to monopolize the news conference. Not to be sarcastic.
Some, like Pally, choose to ignore that advice.
Not smart.
e-mail: pierce@desnews.com