Glancing up from the magazine I was reading, my eyes rested on a pair of loafers my husband, Grit, had set on the fireplace mantel.
They were in terrible shape.
"You're not planning to wear those shoes with run-down heels and worn-out soles are you?" I asked.
"Absolutely," he replied. "The weather is stormy tomorrow and those are my bad weather shoes."
"How long have you been wearing those shoes in that condition," I queried?
"Oh, for a year or so," he answered.
Sounding more like a mother than a wife, I said, "You are not wearing those shoes anywhere. Either we go buy new ones on the weekend or we get those repaired."
The next day, I stuck my head in his closet and found several other pair of shoes in similar condition.
Knowing he would never consent to replacing more dress shoes at this stage of his life, and also noting they were very expensive leather-lined shoes to begin with, I took them to the shoe magician at the mall, where in an hour and a half he had three pair of almost new-looking shoes.
He was so happy he didn't need to go shopping.
About a month ago, I stood in line behind a woman who was returning a pile of wool overcoats and buying several more.
I asked if she was starting a store. She said her husband needed a coat, worked long hours and besides that hated shopping, so she was "schlepping" coats back and forth — attempting to get one that was right.
I have been known to do the same with suits and ties, and when the effort was successful I even got grumbles about having to go in to have the suit tailored.
Grit would like it if the measurements were just sent in.
In Phoenix, there is a store called "Last Chance." It is the end of the line for a lot of great merchandise. If you ever go there, be sure you arrive before they lift the metal gate so you can watch the dedicated bargain shoppers rush in for the deals.
It is a hoot.
You'll not see many men in the crowd.
The late Erma Bombeck put it this way: "Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death and the ecstasy of the purchase."
Now for the men's side of this issue.
In 1998, consultant David Lewis did a survey on male stress levels while Christmas shopping and found it to be actually hazardous to their health.
He says, "In some cases, when we looked at heart rate and blood pressure, this is something you'd expect to see in a fighter pilot going into combat or policemen going into dangerous situations."
He adds, "Men like shopping, provided they're going out to buy a Lear jet or a Porche or a computer or something, a toy for a boy, but when actually forced to do domestic shopping, that's when they become very stressed out and very fed up. Male stress levels skyrocket when faced with crowded stores, choosing gifts and standing in check-out lines."
Likely none of this is breaking news and, of course, there is always the exception to the rule. Just thought you might like a good excuse to keep doing what is apparently second nature.
And ladies, if you didn't get what you wanted for Valentine's Day, don't pout. Next year ask for a Porche — or maybe a baseball mitt.
e-mail: sasyoung2@aol.com