Feeling prompted to continue calling after many tries, a sister missionary finally heard a voice on the other end of the line. Yes, she was told, bring the DVD to their apartment.
Knocking on the door in a “bad” part of town, the inner-city “projects” in a large U.S. city, Lindsay and her companion were met by Marita (name changed). Head down, she barely whispered a word as the two sisters introduced themselves as LDS missionaries. After invited to do so, they began discussing tenets of our faith, but Marita said little and responded to none of their questions. The lesson “was not happening.” Lindsay ended, and somewhat in desperation, invited Marita to church. She had little hope that she would come.
Nevertheless, Marita appeared the following Sunday. In Relief Society, the woman’s meeting held that day, she sat with her head down throughout the lesson. The teacher spoke about God’s love for families as a sacred unit. She stated that the family is a place to learn and practice gospel principles of love and service. The teacher described a family as a refuge from the storms and ugliness of life and expressed her love and devotion to her family. Over the course of the hour, Marita’s shoulders sank further and further as she seemed to shrink into a tight ball.
Afterward, sensing her distance, Lindsay suggested, “Let’s go sit in the lobby.”
Settled on the couch, Marita said, “I’m so happy for you and for those women, but that’s not my reality. Everything in my life that is hard and that hurts so much is because of my family.” She described how her immigrant parents raised her in poverty. She was married, although they still lived with her parents, to a man who regularly abused her. Her two daughters also lived with them. One daughter, barely out of her teens, had three children fathered by three different men, none of whom took responsibility for their children or respected their mother. Marita plaintively attested, “I try to be mother to all three grandchildren and my daughter.”
Marita’s youngest daughter no longer talked and would not come out of her room. Marita explained, “I know it is because of what goes on in our home.” She added, “I’m an alcoholic. Every night when I come home, I drink myself into oblivion to escape my life.” In despair, she said, “I’m happy for you but this,” referring to the Relief Society lesson, “is not my reality. I am glad God loves you. He must love you more than he loves me.”
Lindsay, who grew up in a loving, two-parent, LDS home in Kaysville, Utah, did not know what to say. Although she was, and is, intelligent, articulate and well-traveled, she admitted, “I was so naÏve to the kind of hurt that exists in the world. My first thought was, ‘She is too far gone, what can we do?’ My heart broke but then I asked myself, ‘Is she too far gone?’”
Lindsay described that moment as a “smack in the face,” followed quickly by personal mental chastisement. She thought, “Lindsay, what are you doing? What are you here for, just to give out pamphlets?”
Immediately into her mind popped the missionary standard, repeated daily in the Missionary Training Center: “My purpose as a missionary is to ‘invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and his Atonement, repentance, baptism receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end.’”
Lindsay understood, “My purpose was to help Marita experience the Atonement. It was not to give simple, pat answers. Introducing her to the Savior and helping her develop faith in Jesus Christ and a relationship with him was the only thing that would help her with the hurt in her life.”
Ironically, Marita was still wearing, on her wrist, the hospital bracelet from a recent suicide attempt. Lindsay knew her role was to point Marita onto the path by encouraging her to have faith in Jesus Christ. Lindsay spoke to her about her relationship with God and of his infinite love for her. She taught the plan of salvation. Just knowing that she lived with God before this life empowered Marita.
There was no overnight transformation in Marita’s life. It was a long, difficult struggle for a person so broken and hurting. Lindsay testified, “Intense, horrible feelings of despair can only be replaced by the Savior’s love; that healing comes because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.”
Marita is now a Relief Society teacher. Her younger daughter was embraced by the Young Women in the ward, was also baptized and is thriving. A year and a half after her baptism, Marita’s husband was also baptized. Their challenges are not over. Adversity is part and parcel of the earthly experience. However, as Lindsay and Marita know, the Savior, Jesus Christ, can and does work miracles in the lives of those who seek him and who partake of the healing power of his Atonement.
