"COLOMBIANA" — ★★ — Zoe Saldana, Michael Vartan, Cliff Curtis, Beto Benites, Jordi Molla; PG-13 (violence, disturbing images, intense sequences of action, sexuality and brief strong language); in general release
Revenge is a dish best served cold. This phrase is found in many cultures and in a few films as well. If you want to know the meaning of the phrase, ask any Klingon — it is a proverb in their culture.
Or you could ask Cataleya Restrepo from the film "Colombiana.' Cataleya (Zoe Saldana) is 9 years old when her father turns over important information to his drug-running boss. His boss does not trust that there is only one copy of the information, and there isn't. So he gives the order to kill Cataleya's family.
Cataleya witnesses the deaths of her mother and father. Then the boss' right-hand man, Marco (Jordi Molla), sits down to ask Cataleya if she knows where the information is located. She has already decided to take her revenge on the drug lord and escapes from his thugs. Her escape takes her to the U.S. Embassy, where she turns over the information her father had given her.
She is now taken to the U.S. When she arrives, she runs away and heads to an address her father had given her, where she finds her uncle Emilio (Cliff Curtis). She asks him to train her so she can go back and kill the drug lord who killed her parents. He says he will but she must go to school first. Fifteen years later, she is ready to go and has already started to take out members of the organization.
This film started out just fine, but then it fell into cheesy by the end of the show. The good part was the chase scene that had the cartel members chasing after little Cataleya. She runs through small streets and over rooftops of tightly packed buildings. Nice chase and some good action, but at the end when no one wants to follow her down a sewer, it was ridiculous.
There is some uncertainty about what she is doing in this film. It seems her uncle provides the contact for her jobs and relays the information to her, but the only killings she does are members of the cartel. So is she a professional assassin or not?
Then there is her love interest. Or is this just her way of chilling out after a job? Danny (Michael Vartan) loves her and wants to get to know her, but she doesn't even use her real name with him. That would be too much of a security risk. Nor does she stick around for breakfast. The two do get passionate, but the relationship didn't really work in this film.
The fight scene with Cataleya and Marco near the end of the film was stylized in way that made it difficult to follow. If you do go to this film, watch how she uses a toothbrush during the fight, giving new meaning to fighting cavities. This film degrades as it goes on getting a little cheesier with every scene. Eventually it ends with a "Bruce Willis/Arnold Schwarzenegger" kind of line. It was unexpected, but it fell flat when it was delivered.
This is most definitely a PG-13 movie. The profanity in this film is not really excessive, but you do know it is there. The f-word is used only once. You will find a lot of sensuality in the film. Cataleya is shown often in just a bra and panties and one time in the shower. The love scenes are not graphic, but they are trying to be passionate. As for violence, well, this is a revenge movie, and the main character has pledged to kill someone. You can guess how violent some of the scenes are — not like a horror film, but there is a lot of death.
The filmmakers were hoping that a rising young star and lots of action would make for a hot movie. Unfortunately, the revenge was not the only thing that was cold — so was the film.
"Colombiana" is rated PG-13 for violence, disturbing images, intense sequences of action, sexuality and brief strong language; running time: 108 minutes.