As a mom, I don’t have him here now, I want to protect his memory. If I can help get across to one kid, one family. … Yeah I lost my son, but we’re helping other families, other people, whether they’re kids or adults to kind of get rid of the stigma. – Lisa Jungemann
SALT LAKE CITY — When Lisa Jungemann walks around Sugarhouse Park Saturday morning, it will be in memory of the beautiful and beloved boy she lost to suicide last year.
Matthew Jungemann was just 18 when he died. His mother has become an advocate of prevention and, when she speaks, she is intelligent and collected, wavering only when asked about her only son.
“He was my Achilles heel,” she said, her voice breaking. “With just a twinkle in his eye and a smirk, he melted me. There’s a love between a mom and a son, and I couldn’t have asked for a better son. He was just a good soul.”
This year, as she did the last, she and her family will participate in Salt Lake City’s Out of Darkness walk Saturday, put on by the Utah chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Timed with National Suicide Prevention week, it is one of many efforts aimed at tackling suicide in Utah, where 574 people died by suicide last year, according to figures from the State Office of the Medical Examiner.
Jungemann, for one, said she was shocked not only by her own son’s death, but also by the number of people who reached out to her because their lives had also been impacted by suicide.
“I was really caught off guard by that,” she said. “So the more I can openly speak about it and continue to talk about my son and who he was, that’s going to spread the message to other people and hopefully they’ll have support.”
Her family was buoyed up by their church community, their friends and those at Juan Diego High School, where Matt was a student. Last year, that support and the family's efforts helped their team raise more than $13,000 for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
But she knows many don’t have those kinds of reinforcements. The walk helps provide that connection for everyone touched by suicide.
“For those that have been affected by it, I think it’s a very healing process to be around others that have been affected and impacted — to know that you’re not alone,” Jungemann said. “It was gratifying and overwhelming to see how many people were there (at the walk last year).”
Finding support
Taryn Aiken, Board Chair for the Utah Chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, said it was that yearning for a support system that prompted her to organize the first walk eight years ago and found the chapter four years ago. After losing her father to suicide and attempting herself, she said she went to the Internet for help and eventually found the foundation.
“I think my goal in starting what I started was that I wanted somebody else to have something,” Aiken said. “I didn’t want them to feel so alone and feel like no one was talking about it.”
She was confident that more than $64,000 already raised Thursday would top $100,000 by Saturday’s end. Last year, it netted a total of $81,000.
Aiken said half of the proceeds go back to the national foundation, but the other half will be dedicated to Utah, where she said it helps fund intervention trainings in schools and other programs. To see the rise of awareness and education in Utah is a far cry from when she first searched for resources.
“The fact that we talk about it (suicide) is awesome,” Aiken said. “Even though it’s so devastating and so hard, it’s awesome to see that people are aware and we’re not keeping it a secret and we’re working together to stop it.”
The state is also tackling the issue head-on. In 2012, it reconvened its Utah Suicide Prevention Coalition, said Kim Myers, suicide prevention coordinator for the Utah Department of Human Services. The coalition joins mental and general health providers, advocacy groups, faith-based services, Veterans Affairs representatives, state officials and individuals personally impacted by suicide together.
“Really it’s anyone and everyone who might come in contact with somebody who could have thoughts of suicide or be at risk,” Myers said. “We want everyone.”
Last year, the coalition finalized a suicide prevention plan that will not only be implemented, but also continue to be discussed and adapted to address suicide in the state.
“We meet once a month, we review the plan, we update it, we share information, talk about strategies — anything to move the effort forward,” Myers said. “It’s a good group of people and everybody is really passionate about contributing to efforts in any way.”
Website can help
Part of the plan was realized recently, with the launch of a website that aims to raise awareness, connect the suffering to resources and provide more information about the data and facts behind suicide. It also provides information about warning signs, eduction and training, and will soon feature a request form where anyone interested can request intervention training in their area.
“We will try to connect people to increase the ability of all types of people in our community to respond to people who are struggling with suicidality,” Myers said.
Aiken, who serves on the coalition, said it has been “amazing” to see awareness grow across the state. She noted that Out of the Darkness walks were held in Vernal, Richfield and St. George this year in addition to the one planned in Salt Lake City and praised the efforts of the different people and organizations who are uniting in the common goal of prevention.
“It’s cool for us to finally have such a collective effort,” she said. “For so long, it was small groups, different families of people, but the coalition has taken on so much meaning, just the collaborative groups, and it’s going to take all of us.”
Jungemann said "suicide" is not a word that comes naturally to those of her generation and the one before, but that she is anxious to see the stigma around it disappear. She said Matt’s death was prompted by some disappointing news and he “was unable to see beyond that at the time.”
She said he was not depressed or addicted and showed no warning signs, but she and her husband still sat him down and encouraged him after he received the news. She said they reiterated that they loved him and were there for him, but she wonders if pointedly asking whether he was considering suicide might have made a difference.
“As a mom, I don’t have him here now, I want to protect his memory,” Jungemann said. “If I can help get across to one kid, one family. … Yeah I lost my son, but we’re helping other families, other people, whether they’re kids or adults to kind of get rid of the stigma.”
She said Matt was well-known in national lacrosse circles as well as their local community, so they had support coming from everywhere. It is her hope that more suicide awareness means more compassion and reinforcement for all of those effected by suicide.
“It’s a blessing, and the love that’s still there for Matt … I gained so many kids,” Jungemann said. “I lost my son, but I gained so many kids. They text, they call, they reach out. Their life was rocked that day. I don’t know what we would do if we didn’t have that support.
“That is the charge — to get rid of the stigma so that others who unfortunately go through this or are effected aren’t left behind.”
So come Saturday, she will walk.
Note: Those considering suicide are encouraged to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-237-TALK (8255). Salt Lake County residents can also call the University of Utah's University Neuropsychiatric Institute CrisisLine at 801-587-3000.
About the walk:
Salt Lake City Out of the Darkness Walk
Who: Utah Chapter of American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
When: 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday
Where: Sugarhouse Park
What: A 3- to 5-mile walk to raise suicide prevention awareness
How: Registration is open online through noon Friday or can be done in person at the park between 9 a.m. and 11 a.m. Saturday
Email: emorgan@deseretnews.com, Twitter: DNewsCrimeTeam