"I think if you're on a show called 'My Husband's Not Gay,' then your husband's gay. I also think there is a reverse bullying in the gay community where you can't (live) a certain way — and I'm sure this is controversial — I think if a guy is attracted to guys and he wants to try to live a straight lifestyle, that's as much his prerogative as somebody that wants to live a gay lifestyle. – Former "Roseanne" star Sara Gilbert
SALT LAKE CITY — "In Salt Lake City, Utah, there are a group of Mormons who live their lives a little bit differently."
The cable channel TLC clearly hoped that tagline would draw attention to its one-hour special to air Sunday night called "My Husband's Not Gay."
Mission accomplished. Gay groups are attacking the show, and a change.org petition asking TLC to cancel the broadcast had more than 92,000 supporters as of the lunch hour Wednesday.
"This is the kind of thing TLC loves," "Entertainment Tonight" co-host Kevin Frazier said on the CBS talk show "The Talk."
The reality-based show portrays the lives of four men who are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and who are attracted to men. Three are married to women and the fourth is dating women.
All seven are members of the North Star International community, an independent group of Latter-day Saints who experience same-sex attraction and desire to live in harmony with the church's teachings, doctrines and values, or who are family or friends of those who do.
LDS doctrine teaches that sexual relations are reserved for a marriage relationship between a man and a woman. The LDS Church, which had no involvement in the broadcast nor in the selection of the four men portrayed, released the following statement on Wednesday afternoon:
“The decision for a woman and man to marry is deeply personal. While the Church does not promote marriage as a treatment method for same-sex attraction, couples who are trying to be lovingly supportive of each other while being true to their religious convictions deserve our support and respect.”
In the show's trailer, one of the men says, "There is no marriage that is perfect — ours isn't — but, with our faith in God, we believe we can overcome anything."
Another portrays the spectrum of same-sex attraction, saying, "I'm attracted to my wife, for sure, and I'm definitely attracted to men, too."
One of the couples is Curtis and Tera Brown, who have been married for 19 years and have four children. They sat for a video interview as part of North Star's Voices of Hope project.
The other couples, who also made Voices of Hope videos, are Jeff and Tanya Bennion and Pret and Megan Dahlgren.
The single man is Tom, who did an audio interview with FairMormon.
Gay advocacy groups are attacking the show because they reject the idea "that gay people can and should choose to be straight in order to be part of their faith communities," as the change.org petition puts it.
“This show is downright irresponsible,” said GLAAD President and CEO Sarah Kate Ellis. “No one can change who they love, and, more importantly, no one should have to. By investing in this dangerous programming, TLC is putting countless young LGBT people in harm’s way.”
Most media stories and personalities are taking GLAAD's position, but former "Roseanne" star Sara Gilbert, a gay woman who married another woman in 2014 and is the host of "The Talk" on CBS, said people should respect the right of these men to make their choice.
"I think if you're on a show called 'My Husband's Not Gay,' then your husband's gay," Gilbert said. "I also think there is a reverse bullying in the gay community where you can't (live) a certain way — and I'm sure this is controversial — I think if a guy is attracted to guys and he wants to try to live a straight lifestyle, that's as much his prerogative as somebody that wants to live a gay lifestyle."
In the show's trailer, one of the men says, "I like to say I've chosen an alternative to an alternative lifestyle."
North Star president Ty Mansfield, who also has experienced same-sex attraction but has three children with his wife, responded strongly to GLAAD's position, calling it "hypocrisy" in a blog post on Wednesday.
Mansfield wrote, in part, "I’m thrilled that TLC is willing to profile the stories of one minority group that gets very little exposure in the pop cultural media because LGBT, Inc., is threatened by the fact that our very existence challenges its identity, its distorted socio-cultural narrative, and its socio-political agenda."
At North Star's first annual conference in May, Mansfield discussed the organization's purpose and goals.
"We want (people) to know there are other options, options consistent with the church's teachings, and there are lots of happy, healthy people choosing them," he said. "People don't see them (in the church) because they blend in. If that's an option you want, we want to provide resources to help you do that in a happy, healthy way."
Mansfield talked about why he prefers the term "same-sex attraction" to "gay" during the 2014 FairMormon conference in August.
The flap over the show comes just days after NPR published a story about a Presbyterian pastor attracted to men, but who refused to act on that attraction because he considered doing so a sin and instead married a woman.
More about the LDS Church's position on Mormons and gays can be found at the church's website, mormonsandgays.org, which highlights the importance of choice and action.
"The experience of same-sex attraction is a complex reality for many people," the site says. "The attraction itself is not a sin, but acting on it is. Even though individuals do not choose to have such attractions, they do choose how to respond to them. With love and understanding, the Church reaches out to all God’s children, including our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters."
World Religion News pointed out in a story on the TLC show that the Mormon men represented in it aren't alone. In 2012, noted Mormon family therapist Josh Weed, who is married to a woman with whom he has children, revealed in a blog post that went viral that he is attracted to men.
TLC released a statement Tuesday.
"TLC has long shared compelling stories about real people and different ways of life, without judgment," a representative for the network told US Weekly. "The individuals featured in this one-hour special reveal the decisions they have made, and speak only for themselves."
Email: twalch@deseretnews.com