By mutual agreement, ESPN and its college football analyst, the legendary Lou Holtz, have ended their relationship.
The gridiron sage is close to 80 and his Will Rogers way of putting thoughts together has become part of the lore of the game. From Minnesota to Arkansas and South Carolina to Notre Dame, Holtz has been a character, a quote machine, a motivational speaker and a gold mine for reporters with microphones and notebooks.
He also has plenty of distractors who poke fun at him for a myriad of reasons. He can be a target. I still laugh remembering when LaVell Edwards’ John Walsh-led team beat Notre Dame in South Bend. TV cameras caught Holtz trying to put an official in a headlock to illustrate how Cougar offensive linemen were holding.
I enjoyed it when Holtz was the featured speaker at a Las Vegas Bowl team luncheon a few years back and I appreciated a portion of his banter with Mark May on the set of ESPN.
In a salute to Lou, here are some of my favorite Holtz quotes through the years. Many make my quote hall of fame. These quotes come from numerous Holtz media interviews, broadcasts and podium speeches throughout his career. They have appeared in newspapers, magazines, ESPN and other broadcasts and pre and post-game interviews. These and many other Holtz quotes can be found on Brainy Quote.com and Great-Quotes.com and his books "Wins, Losses and Lessons," "Winning Every Day," and "A Teen's Game Plan for Life."
Here you go:
“I’m so old, I don’t buy green bananas anymore.”
“God looks after children, animals and idiots.”
“You were not born a winner, and you were not born a loser. You are what you make yourself to be.”
“Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.”
“I can’t believe God put us on this earth to be ordinary.”
“On this team, we’re all united in a common goal: to keep my job.”
“There is nothing in this world more instinctively abhorrent to me than finding myself in agreement with my fellow humans.”
“Don’t tell your problems to people; eighty percent don’t care, and the other twenty percent are glad you have them.”
“Coaching is nothing more than eliminating mistakes before you get fired.”
“The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren’t in a very good mood.”
“The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.”
“No one has ever drowned in sweat.”
“Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it.”
“The alumni buried me every week. The plots have a view of the dome. It’s a better view if you’re standing up than if you’re laying down.”
“Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated.”
“If what you did yesterday seems big, you haven’t done anything today.”
“You’ll never get ahead of anyone as long as you try to get even with him.”
“Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I’ll show you someone who has overcome adversity.”
“If you’re bored with life — you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things — you don’t have enough goals.”
“If he’s got golf clubs in his truck or a camper in his driveway, I don’t hire him.”
“A lifetime contract for a coach means if you’re ahead in the third quarter and moving the ball, they can’t fire you.”
“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.”
“You’re never as good as everyone tells you when you win, and you’re never as bad as they say when you lose.”
“If you burn your neighbor’s house down, it doesn’t make your house look any better.”
“When all is said and done, more is said than done.”
“When people need love and understanding and support the most is when they deserve it the least.”
“In the nineties, everybody wants to talk about their rights and privileges. Twenty-five years ago, people talked about their obligations and responsibilities.”
“In golf, the player, coach and official are rolled into one, and they overlap completely. Golf really is the best microcosm of life — or at least the way life should be.”
“How do you know what it’s like to be stupid if you’ve never been smart?”
“Don’t run if you can walk.
Don’t walk if you can stand.
Don’t stand if you can sit.
Don’t sit if you can lie down.”
I’d say to Holtz: Retire from ESPN but don’t lie down.
Dick Harmon, Deseret News sports columnist, can be found on Twitter as Harmonwrites and can be contacted at dharmon@desnews.com.