Fantasy football has taken over my life. Indeed, what was once a fun little hobby has become a big, bad habit.
Now it's gotten out of control. I've become a fantasy football addict, participating in four, five, even six leagues these days.
I should probably be sent to FFR — Fantasy Football Rehab — if there was such a place. And there should be, because I know I'm not alone in this obsession. A lot of my friends would be spending their time there, too.
And this time of year is the worst, because this is when you draft your team — or in my case, teams — for the upcoming National Football League season.
A recent survey estimated that more than 30 million Americans would be participating in some variation of a fantasy football draft this year before the regular season starts this week.
Actually, the draft is one of the funnest parts of playing fantasy football. For those two or so hours, you're an NFL owner/general manager, picking among all the league's available players to form what amounts to your own little all-star team that you're hoping can outscore every other owner/GM's all-star team in the weeks ahead.
Unfortunately, there are plenty of heartbreaking disappointments along the way.
For example, you had your heart set on drafting Colts quarterback Andrew Luck for your team, and some schmuck picking just ahead of you grabbed him instead. That means you've gotta go with Plan B — the Packers' Aaron Rodgers — or Plan C — the Cowboys' Tony Romo — or plan D, E or F, which forces you to take the Saints' Drew Brees, the Falcons' Matt Ryan, or, heaven forbid, one of the Manning brothers.
And so it goes, until you've built a team that you think/hope/pray can compete against the other teams in the league.
Let's fact it, folks, it's a ton of fun. And you can play just for that — fun, or bragging rights — and often times there's money on the line in the form of an entry fee, with top teams taking home a percentage of the proceeds.
In that case, I guess it's considered a form of gambling. Kinda like the stock market, I suppose — pick the ones you think will perform the best, invest in them with your money and, hopefully, make more money in return.
But I know a lot more about pro football than I do about the stock market. Or do I? Well, I thought I did. Sometimes my team's failures would speak loudly to the contrary.
Gambling? I suppose you could say the same thing about playing Whack-A-Mole at Lagoon — you put up some money, compete against your friends and hope to win a prize there, too, right?
But Whack-A-Mole has never taken over my life. I don't dream about smacking those little moles with a mallet like I do drafting my fantasy football team.
Running backs? Eddie Lacy (Packers), Le'Veon Bell (Steelers), Jamaal Charles (Chiefs) and Marshawn Lynch (Seahawks) would all sure look good on my team.
OK, so maybe you can't bring yourself to draft the Vikings' Adrian Peterson on moral principles after his horrible child-abuse incident last year — but you'd better believe that if you don't take him on your team, somebody else surely will.
Wide receivers? Owners who coveted the Packers' Jordy Nelson or the Panthers' Kelvin Benjamin must've wept openly when those two stellar receivers went down with season-ending knee injuries this summer.
But hey, there's still Dez Bryant (Cowboys), Antonio Brown (Steelers), Demaryius Thomas (Broncos) and Odel Beckham Jr. (Giants) and a bunch of others to help build your team's receiving corps around.
Tight ends? Defense/special teams? Kickers?
They're all there for the taking, if you can just get the right one.
Then sit back and manage your team, and heaven forbid you should leave a guy on the bench who decides to have a breakout week instead of one of your other "stars" who stunk it up that week.
You can make trades with other owners — just like real pro sports — and if you have an injury or a weakness in a particular position, you can grab "free agent" players who haven't already been claimed by another team.
But a word of caution: Fantasy football can take over your life, like it has mine. Soon you'll find yourself taking your cellphone to church and sneaking a peak at the NFL scores during a less-than-dynamic talk from the pulpit or snoozer classroom lesson.
A word to the wise: Leave that cellphone home. It'll only get you in trouble with your wife or other members of your church. And sometimes looking at those scores can leave you in a less than spiritual mood.
But hey, I really can't talk about this any longer. I'd like to, but you see, I've got another fantasy league draft in a few minutes.
EMAIL: rhollis@desnews.com