The Seahawks might not make it to the Super Bowl this year.
Last Sunday, after a disastrous first half, the Seahawks roared back, but the inflexible officials called the game when the clock ran out even though there was a decent chance that the good guys would have won if they had just been given five more minutes to work with. It is very difficult to get invited to the big game with such a major playoff loss on your record.
Sure, one can hope for an implausible rule change that would make it so that any team that plays on Jan. 17 and has the audacity to score 31 points before the other team even gets started has to submit to a do-over. That doesn’t seem likely, and I’d hate to have my hopes deflated by the NFL.
I feel responsible. I was watching a recording of the game, and I was multitasking in the first half. They didn’t have my focused support when they needed it but, in my defense, focused support 12 hours after the game is over is probably not that helpful anyway.
Failing to win shouldn’t be that bad. There are many self-help and business books that argue the theory that if you aren’t failing enough, you aren’t really trying and will never succeed. They say you have to fail big time to get rich and have a movie made about you. I have never been in a business meeting, however, where someone was asked to stand up to be praised for coming up short and missing deadlines.
“I want you all to take a look at Bettleman here. He fumbles assignments, shows up late to work and embarrasses our company anytime he’s given a chance. Why can’t more of you be like him? Unless we fail big like Bettleman, we will never really succeed.”
And don’t even start with stories about Thomas Edison failing at first to make a light bulb. He didn’t have to “synergize” with coworkers, go through performance evaluations or sort through hundreds of emails before twisting in his first light bulb of the day. He just sat there peaceful like, working on his laptop by candlelight in his inventor’s laboratory.
The truth is that in reality, people are never really gleeful about setbacks or especially tolerant of “bold ideas” that don’t produce the desired immediate bottom-line results. (Remember the intercepted Seahawks pass that ended last year’s Super Bowl?).
OK, I know I’m sounding a grumpy. It’s just that I have to struggle for my victories, and for me, wins aren’t rewarded with thunderous applause and million-dollar bonuses. I’m out in the real world, and I can’t afford to be learning from failure. I never want to accidentally leave a corn dog in the microwave until it catches fire, find my wallet in the freezer or be the kid in fourth grade who raises his hand to ask the teacher if he is male or female. (Not that any of those things have ever happened to me, of course).
Multimillion dollar players in cool uniforms, backed by wild loyal fans who can’t be rained out, are supposed to give the rest of us cause to celebrate. When they don’t, we are left alone to stamp out flaming corn dogs and thaw out wallets. It’s not right.
So, I think a do-over is in order. I heard that nearly half of the teams in the playoffs last Sunday lost. I think there are enough bummed-out people out there to form a movement. And that’s what this is: the Fair Half, Do-Over, Seahawks Anti-Massacre Movement.
Maybe we could enlist Arlo Guthrie to the cause. He’d sing:
You could win any game you want, / At Alice’s Restaurant. / Kick onside, the ball you will get / You’ll make comeback we’ll never forget / Because you could win any game you want, / At Alice’s Restaurant.
Sure, laugh at my songwriting failure if you must, but you’re missing the big picture. If we can force a do-over, the Seahawks could still walk away with the Vince Lombardi Trophy this year.
Even if I fail, they might still make a movie about me and my quest.
They could call it simply, “Steve’s Job.”
Steve Eaton lives and works at a real job in Logan, Utah. He can be reached at Eatonnews@gmail.com