Utah author Ally Condie maintains multiple holiday traditions and treasures many holiday memories, but one she appreciates most came during a quiet, unplanned moment on Christmas Day a few years ago.
The oldest of Condie’s four children was especially interested in Legos at the time, and out of a desire to be like their older brother, the younger siblings followed suit. Each child had asked for a set of Legos for Christmas, and none of the children wanted “baby Legos” — they wanted “big, cool Legos” like their older brother, despite the fact that the younger kids couldn’t put together the sets on their own.
Condie’s oldest son ended up spending hours patiently putting together the other kids’ Lego sets with them.
“I just remember all four of them gathered around … and it was really sweet,” Condie said in an interview with the Deseret News. “It was one of those moments that you didn’t plan for but just happened and was heartwarming as a parent where everyone is gathered and working together and your kids are serving each other.”
For Condie, who is the author of the Matched series and “Summerlost,” and is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, this memory captures the spirit of the holiday season, which she sees as a time to share traditions with family and serve others.
“I love being around family and love the chance to stop, and it feels like the holidays give us an excuse to do that,” Condie said. “Of course, I’m religious so I love that aspect of it, but I feel like it can be larger than that, especially for a community where everyone is being kinder no matter what religion or affiliation they are.”
Many members of the local arts community, like Condie, look forward to and celebrate the holidays. Whether they are celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah or view it as a time to honor humanity, each has found their own way to capture the spirit of the season.
‘Being connected’
Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company artistic director Daniel Charon and his long-term partner of 20 years, Natalie Desch, have both dedicated their lives and careers to the art of dance, which has taken them all over the world. As they’ve traveled from country to country and from city to city, the couple have collected Christmas tree ornaments they use to decorate their tree each year.
“I think it’s a way not only to reminisce about our past but to stay in touch with these cultures and these different attitudes because for us, humanity and people are really religious to us, as are our interactions within society,” Charon said. “To us, that’s the religious experience.”
Charon and Desch come from very different religious backgrounds: She grew up attending a Presbyterian church, and he was raised in the Jewish faith.
Charon grew up in North Dakota and said his family practiced “a more reformed, a much more liberal, open-minded Judaism.” They attended synagogue occasionally, especially during the High Holidays, and Charon had his bar mitzvah at age 13 and confirmation at 18.
“I think for me, the religion was always about the community of it and being with people and the different events and traditions that happened around that,” Charon said.
He said both he and Desch had similar experiences in college where each moved away from the faith of their youth, but that changed when the couple met.
“At that point we moved in together, we both started to sort of repractice and get in touch with some of our religious traditions, especially around the holidays,” he said.
The couple have incorporated elements from both of their religious backgrounds into their holiday celebrations: They have both a Christmas tree and several menorahs, and they plan several traditional Christmas meals with family and friends but also celebrate Hanukkah with latkes.
“Natalie tends to be a little more eager and excited about the Hanukkah part since that wasn’t something she grew up with, and I think for me it’s similar in that I never did Christmas growing up,” Charon said.
Though his holiday celebrations look a bit different than the ones he grew up with, Charon said he will always cherish the memories of him and his brother excitedly lighting the menorah as their parents sang the traditional prayers.
“Whatever the prayer was about is one thing, but I remember my brother’s face, my parents being there and everyone being excited and eager to sing and celebrate together,” he said. “It’s great to reflect and cherish those memories and appreciate them and remember how lucky I am to have had that in my life and that I can still practice and kind of choose my own spirituality.”
That opportunity to reflect, both on his past experiences and on past choices, is what Charon believes the holiday season is all about.
“I think it’s a good time to reflect on what the future could be, and I think it’s a time to really appreciate what you have,” Charon said. “It’s not about the gifts, it’s not about the commercialism about the event, but it’s about that sort of having fun and being connected and reminiscing and appreciating what you have.”
Linking generations
Growing up in Cedar City, some of Condie’s favorite holiday memories involve visiting her grandparents who lived nearby.
“We had a lot of fun going over to their house,” Condie remembered.
But for their entire married life, Condie and her husband, who is from Seattle, have lived away from family, which she said has led them to combine traditions from each of their families, as well as make a few family traditions of their own.
“I think for everyone, it (traditions) connects you to the past and makes the link between the generations, and certainly we’re doing that because we’re not with our families usually on actual Christmas Day,” said Condie, who lives in Pleasant Grove. “It’s nice to remember your own childhood or to pass something along.”
One of the traditions Condie’s family has incorporated from her childhood is eating hamburgers on Christmas Eve. Growing up, her family would always have a traditional Christmas meal on Christmas Day, “but on Christmas Eve, my family would make hamburgers and root beer floats, so it was kind of a fun thing,” she said. “So my husband and I have taken it one level further and we get In-n-Out on Christmas Eve, unless it’s a Sunday.”
Condie’s parents also had a tradition of giving each child pajamas to open on Christmas Eve, which she and her husband also do with their children, with a small addition.
“We also add a book to the box so they get pajamas and a book to read on Christmas Eve to kind of kill some of the time that as a kid seems to pass so slowly,” Condie said. “That’s fun for me picking the book that everyone gets, and of course I get myself one too.”
In addition to creating a connection with family, Condie said an “unexpected” benefit of traditions in her family is the comfort they provide to one of her sons, who has autism.
“We’ve learned that the traditions are very comforting to him because the holidays can be busy and kind of stressful and there’s a lot of things that are happening that are different and loud and unexpected, but when there are certain things that he can count on,” Condie explained, “he’s just like the rest of us. It makes you feel good and makes you feel safe, and it’s a nice thing to look forward to.”
Sharing and respecting
Pioneer Theatre Company artistic director Karen Azenberg looks forward to many different aspects of the holiday season, but one of her favorite traditions is baking.
“I love baking, so that is my big seasonal thing,” she said.
Azenberg and her 16-year-old daughter have already been hard at work whipping up several of their favorite treats, including chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies, fruitcake biscotti, pumpkin bread, banana bread and chocolate covered peanut butter balls.
And to top it all off is their traditional crispy potato latkes, which they make out of real grated potatoes, sometimes sweet potatoes, and onions and top off with homemade applesauce.
“Jewish holidays are often about food,” Azenberg said with a laugh.
Azenberg is Jewish and remembers growing up celebrating Hanukkah with her grandparents. Her grandfather always gave the children brand-new bills from the bank as the Hanukkah gift of gelt, and her grandmothers were always busy in the kitchen making their own versions of latkes and pound cake.
“It sounds like I’m sort of doing a commercial for ‘Fiddler on the Roof,’ but it’s the tradition thing, and I think that’s lovely for all families,” she said.
Azenberg’s husband was raised Catholic, which she said has led to them raising their 19-year-old son and 16-year-old daughter in a “very blended religious” environment as the family celebrates Hanukkah but also recognizes Christmas as a day for family.
“In the world of the theater where the days off are dictated by your show schedule and not much else, I recognize that day of the year when so many of us are able to take a day off from everything that we do and reflect on the important things in life, so that happens to be Dec. 25,” she explained. “It’s a day when my husband and my kids and I can be together and not be working, so we celebrate that.”
In addition to the food-related traditions that her children look forward to, Azenberg said they also enjoy lighting their many menorahs
“We have probably 10, and while we’ve pared down the number, we light several menorahs because they are the favorite ones that the kids have made over the years so we bring them all out and light our many menorahs over the eight nights of Hanukkah, which is really a pretty thing,” she said. “It’s a lovely moment at the end of the day for the family to come together.”
Azenberg said the fact that her children look forward to these traditions with anticipation is one of the things she enjoys most about the holiday season.
“I love when they have these traditional things that they hang on to because then I feel like it will get passed on, and it makes me remember my grandparents and I hope it makes them remember their grandparents,” she said. “I love that part.”
Living in a community where many of her co-workers and neighbors are Christian or celebrate Christmas as their main holiday, Azenberg also recognizes this season of the year as a time to learn respect and share.
“I love sharing the Jewish holidays with my friends and community who may or may not be familiar with the Jewish religion and the Jewish traditions … and I like to be part of other people’s celebrations,” she said. “I more than respect it, and I hope that people enjoy sharing with me and I totally feel that my religious beliefs are respected.”
Email: wwilde@deseretnews.com
Twitter: whitneybutters