I’ve read some fine articles about Kobe Bryant’s retirement. The overriding theme in all of them was his refusal to lose.
How nice for him.
But down here on Planet Earth, I find that exhausting. I’d like to read just one story of how he let himself gain weight and go to seed during the offseason. In other words, act normal.
This in turn got me thinking about the Jazz. Could they simply will themselves to greatness the way Bryant did? People are saying the Jazz are a playoff team next year and I agree. They might even become a mid-level operation.
But a team at the top, the best of the best? It wouldn’t bother me if they only got to a fifth seed in the playoffs. That’s a big adjustment. In the 1990s the Jazz were big winners, expected to go deep into the playoffs every year. Since then, I’ve begun looking at things through an entirely different set of eyes.
Average eyes, not Mamba eyes.
I’m starting to think average is pretty darn good.
For instance, once upon a time my seat at Jazz games was on the front row. I was close enough to tell if Antoine Carr was wearing aftershave. Now I sit above the Jazz entrance to the court, second row back. But I’m OK with that. Front-row seats are nice, but over-the-tunnel isn’t bad.
Similarly, first place is great, but fifth place isn’t unacceptable.
I don’t plan on the Jazz being a contender. I just expect them to be good enough to be interesting and — dare I say it? — a little above average.
Forthwith is an incomplete but honest list of other average things I’ve come to accept over time:
Access to athletes. In honesty, media access is poor compared to the past, but it’s not a lockdown situation. If reporters want to interview a Jazz player, they get 10 minutes at practice, half an hour before games, or a few quick words after. But players who address media at shoot-arounds aren’t required to talk pre-game.
So there’s no real allowance for getting much more than ordinary sports banalities.
Long ago, a Utah State football player actually came to my hotel room on game day for an interview. Nowadays you can’t reach a college football player after Tuesday of game week. See what I mean?
Score it Privacy 2, Media 1.
Teams. Except for Weber State’s Big Sky title this year, it’s been awhile since anyone won a championship in football or basketball around here. But an NCAA appearance by Weber, a first-round win for the Utes and an NIT Final Four appearance for BYU isn’t terrible.
It’s not the Golden State Warriors, but still. Not everyone can soar.
Just make sure you don’t stink.
A colleague once told me his newspaper had a writing coach whose mantra was, “Great is the enemy of good.” The point was that trying too hard to be brilliant sometimes backfires.
Could this be the rule in sports, too?
Vehicles. I don’t drive a luxury pickup with a 360-degree camera system, hand-stitched leather seats or a panoramic glass roof. The only pickup I have requires that I manually roll down the window.
OK, so that’s below average. I’m fine with it.
Sometimes all I need is a set of wheels.
Road food. Often the menu looks better in pictures, but at midnight in Fresno, when the only other option is a drive-through, Chili’s is spectacular.
Not unlike grabbing the last spot in the playoffs.
My columns. I was looking for some of my recent work to display at a media workshop a couple of weeks ago and couldn’t find anything except (sigh) a bunch of run-of-the-mill columns.
I haven’t written one I really liked since 2013 when I interviewed competitive eater Kobayashi. I think I wrote something I liked in 1999, but I can’t recall what.
So if the Jazz aren’t as relentless as Kobe Bryant, big deal. If they reach the playoffs next year, I won’t complain. I might even throw a watch party and invite Big Dog as my special guest.
What, you wanted Steph Curry?
Email: rock@desnews.com; Twitter: @therockmonster; Blog: Rockmonster Unplugged