Dear Angela,
Mother’s Day is right around the corner, and I’m feeling very negative about it. I have one child, and honestly, I don’t want any more. The mothering thing does not come naturally to me, and my one child (I love him dearly) misbehaves terribly and makes church and all other functions extremely difficult for me. How can I feel positive about my role as a mother and being celebrated for it when it doesn’t bring the happiness or fulfillment that I thought it would?
— Mother’s Day Blues
Dear Mother’s Day Blues,
There’s opposition in all things, and you aren't alone in how you feel. I would guess that it gets better, but maybe it will always be difficult.
My advice would be to adjust your thinking and start counting the things you do well as a mother and in life in general. Your son misbehaves, but is he happy? Well-fed? Does he have a roof over his head? Clothes on his back?
You’re providing for another human life. I can’t think of anything more difficult than that. It makes sense to me that it would be one of the most difficult things anyone could ever do.
Maybe you expected motherhood to be one thing and it’s turning out to be something completely different; that happens in life, and it’s OK. Plus, there are other mothers who have experienced these same feelings. If I were in your shoes, I could imagine myself looking at social media, or at other mothers at church or in restaurants, and wondering, “Why is it so easy for them? Why are they enjoying this so much? What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with my child?” But perhaps every mother struggles in her own way, and perhaps positivity can be found on this difficult journey when we build friendships with others mothers, let go of our expectations and find joy in small but incredible successes.
What do you think? What could you celebrate about motherhood on Mother’s Day?
Let us know what you think!
Love,
Angela
Readers: Have you experienced these feelings? How have you found joy in motherhood even during the tough times?
Angela Trusty gives advice about religion and relationships. Submit a topic to askangela.dn@gmail.com.
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