Dear Angela,
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for seven years. We met when we first returned from serving missions for our church, and it’s been a lovely relationship. We get along, we rarely fight, we share the same values, our families get along — he’s perfect for me. The one downside is that he feels like he hasn’t received a spiritual confirmation from God that we should get married, and so we’ve stayed stuck in this boyfriend/girlfriend place and aren’t really progressing as a couple.
I’ve been accepted to graduate school in a different state, and I have a difficult decision to make: put off grad school for my relationship that maybe isn’t going anywhere, or go to grad school and essentially end things with him by moving away.
He wants to continue working at his job here, and he understands it’s not fair to ask me to put off graduate school to stay with him. I hoped things would change by the time I got my acceptance letter, but they haven’t. What should I do? Should I wait for his feelings about marriage to change? Should I put my education before my relationship? I would love your opinion.
Thanks,
Grad Girl
Dear Grad Girl,
Congrats on your graduate school acceptance. What an achievement! I think you should go, learn as much as you can, meet and serve as many people as you can, and grab the opportunities that may be there for you. Transform your waiting into living a powerful, educated and impactful life.
I hope your boyfriend receives the answers he’s looking for, but that is between him and God for now.
What does God tell you when you pray about this? Do you feel excitement about this scholastic opportunity? Do you feel worried about leaving someone you love? Maybe the two of you don’t need to break up; perhaps geographic distance and a little emotional space will give you both clarity and help you make some concrete and mutually beneficial decisions.
It’s difficult when we want something and can’t seem to figure out a way to have it. I would invite you to keep your heart open to love, but also to nurture and cultivate the other blessings in your life. See where these opportunities lead you, and find joy in your progress.
Love,
Angela
Readers: If you were Grad Girl, would you wait?
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Angela Trusty gives advice about religion and relationships. Submit a topic to askangela.dn@gmail.com.
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