One year ago this week, Scott Braithwaite had a simple message for his BYU Campus Education Week audience: Stop looking for a soul mate.
Braithwaite, an assistant professor of psychology at BYU, said that the idea of a soul mate, that one person is meant for another, is false, and that searching for one can lead to marital problems later in life.
He encouraged listeners to take responsibility for choosing a spouse and not rely on someone else or fate to make this important decision. Braithwate suggested that consciously choosing a spouse and saying "I chose you" is more meaningful and romantic than saying "someone else chose you for me."
Searching for the perfect match can lead to a shopping mentality and causes soul mate searchers to dismiss potential spouses if they don't fit the shopping list of ideal qualities.
"Love is not about you," Braithwaite said. "Love is not about you getting everything you want like you’re on a shopping spree. And if that’s the way you’re approaching dating, your ability to form a strong, loving relationship is going to be compromised."