Love him or hate him, there's no doubt that Bill Walton is the most off-the-wall announcer in college basketball. His call with Dave Pasch in Utah's 94-82 loss to Arizona was no exception.
Sure, there was the usual 1,000 references to the Pac-12 being the "Conference of Champions," along with various animals sounds. From Justin Bieber, Isaac Newton, sweet grass and eight and a half grandchildren, here's some of the best quotes from his call.
Just watch this
Utah fans didn't have to wait long to see what kind of call they were going to get from Walton.
https://twitter.com/BBallSociety_/status/949100447117258752We are all liars
"Anybody who tells you what they are thinking is lying."
Larry Krystkowiak's knees
"Larry has a new knee. He has two of them. He's standing up straight."
"Justin Bibbins, not related to Justin Bieber I’m told. We have our people looking into it though."
Questioning the mascot
"Swoop. Where are your wings? Your red tail?"
All the animals
The following tweets summarize all the animals Walton compared Arizona's Deandre Ayton to:
Bill Walton nous présente Deandre Ayton pic.twitter.com/3JPmmyRtiJ— Magic Johnson 2.0 With Amnesia (@falckovitch93) January 5, 2018
Cheetahs in the wild
"Have you ever seen a cheetah in the wild? They run like 50 miles per hour. And they turn on a dime."
"My hands are full"
Bill Walton, trying to light wheat grass on fire courtside: "Dave, you got a match or a lighter?"— Jack Henkels (@jackhenkels) January 5, 2018
Dave: "No, but I'm sure you do"
Bill, laughing: "But my hands are full"
Dave: "I'm sure you have plenty in your backpack"
When asked about a lighter Walton has with him, he responded, "My backpack is fine. It always passes every security checkpoint."
Walton's solar power
.@DavePasch quit being an ostrich - @BillWalton says #Solar is the future! Learn more tonight at 9 ET on ESPN when @APlayersProgram takes on @UtahMBB #CareAboutYourChildren #CareAboutMyGrandchildren #AZvsUTAH pic.twitter.com/Bu5ypo8yCf— Walton's World (@WaltonsWorldCBB) January 4, 2018
Happy Birthday Isaac Newton
"Today is Isaac Newton's birthday. He wrote about the laws of motion. Right now we're seeing it all move for Arizona."
And yes, it really is Isaac Newton's birthday.
"Crank up the band. Fire up the sweet grass."
Unrelated facts for $1,000, Alex
"Utah has 12,000 trees on campus. The fate of the known world hangs in the balance right here. It's Isaac's birthday."
In case you were wondering, Walton really did say those three things back-to-back.
Who is using a beeper?
"Who is using a beeper these days? Come out of your cave on Mount Timpanogos!"
While Walton's knowledge of Utah geography is impressive, perhaps Walton should remember that Timpanogos is closer to BYU than it is to Utah. …
Solar energy part II
"Solar power is the fastest growing energy source in the world."
Paging James Bond
"Where I have seen this Dr. No?"
Walton: "Have you ever been kissed by a dolphin?"
College football commentary
"I haven't seen either team play. I've been busy. Offense wins championships. I always pick Alabama. Georgia is a leading solar state in the country and Dominique Wilkins played there."
Walton's football commentary is just as wild as his basketball commentary.
Umm, you do work for ESPN ...
"You cannot count watching Sports Center as research."
Solar energy part III
"Love your children and love my grandchildren, go solar! It’s a no brainer."
Already failed New Year's resolution
Pasch: “I had a New Year’s resolution. Had.”
Walton: “What was it?”
Pasch: “Well you’re still here …”
Walton: "Have you ever seen a mountain goat climb the Wasatch Mountains?"
Pasch: "It's on the list."
One can only wonder what else is on that list.
Ignorance is bliss
Pasch: "I'm ignoring you for the rest of this broadcast."
Walton: "Why would that be different from the rest of our lives?"
Hamburgers all around!
"If they post that guy up, I'll buy everyone a hamburger."
Georgia fans look away
"I never got up in the morning and told myself I've got to beat Georgia. … Have you ever been to Georgia with Ray Charles? With Jamie Foxx?"
More sweet grass
Walton said this as Utah cut Arizona's lead to six:
"A bonfire of sweet grass here right now."
Karl Malone's house
Walton: "Have you been to Karl Malone's house?"
Pasch: "I have not been to Karl Malone's house."
Walton: "Talk about a mansion on the hill."
Save the axial tilt!
"I am concerned, and there is scientific concern, that one of DeAndre Ayton’s throwdowns is going to throw off the axial tilt."
Money and stats
Walton: "ESPN. The worldwide leader in sports."
Pasch: "Which pays you handsomely …"
Walton: "Why is it about the money with you? Why is it all about the stats?"
More Justin Bieber
Walton: "Have you ever called a game with Justin Bieber?
Pasch: "No I have not. He is a singer, not a broadcaster."
Walton: "I had Scottie Pippen and Chris Mullin and they gave Justin Bieber with the hair and all the MVP. Scottie Pippen just absolutely destroyed him."
Crimes against humanity
"Utah's killing themselves out there. They're stepping out of bounds. That's against the rules. And transgresses against human decency, now please!"
Remembering Michael Jackson
"Don't stop until you get enough. That's one of my mottos."
The coat comes off
"Krystkowiak has taken his coat off. He might go out there and actually play."
Sports Center and First Take
Walton: "I live for Sports Center. Actually, I live for First Take."
Pasch: "You'll be on both within a day."
Isaac Newton again
"Newton wrote that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. That's what we're seeing. The back and forth."
Father of the year …
Pasch: "Have you ever missed the birth of a child due to basketball?"
Walton: "I was there for three of the four."
Lost in Yonkers
"What is the derivation of the name/word Yonkers?"
"History is more than what happened this morning."
Grandfather of the year
"I want to be like John Huntsman. He has 56 grandkids. We have only eight and a half."
Elephants throwing down
"Have you ever seen an elephant throwing it down?"
Walton's tour de Utah
No idea what he's talking about
"Have you ever spent eight days on a sandbar, waiting for a ship to pick you up. Hoping it's the right sandbar?"