Pignanelli & Webb: The creepiest time of the year has arrived — Halloween, followed shortly by a big election. We’re not sure which is most terrifying. But we do know that the costumes politicians wear Halloween night provide a glimpse of their personalities, their positions on issues and how they will govern. Thanks to decades of experience watching politicians at their scariest, we can predict what they will be wearing as they solicit treats, threaten tricks and frighten voters.
Gov. Gary Herbert will be dressed in the flowing robes of Moses, leading Utahns into the promised land of economic milk and honey. But, unlike Moses, he wants to enter himself.
Congressman Rob Bishop will be the seldom-seen Sasquatch. There are rumors and grainy photos of his existence on the campaign trail, but definitive sightings are rare.
Lt. Gov. Spencer Cox will sport a blue bird costume reminiscent of the Twitter logo, since he and President Trump have personally, through their prodigious tweeting, saved the company from bankruptcy.
Former congressman and Fox News contributor Jason Chaffetz will be sporting a trench coat and hat pulled over his eyes, demonstrating his cloak-and-dagger readiness to spy on the ominous deep state.
Congresswoman Mia Love will be wearing a suit of armor and a steel umbrella to fend off negative attacks by her opponent and national Democrats.
Salt Lake County Mayor and congressional candidate Ben McAdams will be wearing a dripping wet business suit and a shower cap. Win or lose, he will be best remembered for showering in his TV spots.
U.S. Senate candidate Mitt Romney will be the Dark Knight. Mysterious, but frequently appearing to save imperiled GOP candidates around the nation.
U.S. Senate candidate Jenny Wilson, the tireless defender of the left, will proudly wear the colors of the gallant knight Don Quixote, jousting at windmills.
Salt Lake City Mayor Jackie Biskupski will be dressed as Joan of Arc — leading a charge whether her troops are with her or not.
Proposition 4 Better Boundaries proponents will be dressed as angels floating above all since they are better than the rest of us "unwashed" commoners who dare to participate in the political process.
Both opponents and supporters of Proposition 2, the medical marijuana initiative, will paint their faces blue to resemble Braveheart. They can urge victory for the cause, despite the eventual outcome being already decided.
Proposition 3 activists supporting Medicaid expansion will dress like Mother Teresa, extending health care benefits to the low-income masses.
Bill and Hillary Clinton will dress as zombies, the undead who just cannot be stopped from reappearing to vex Democrats.
President Donald Trump will be a bull in a china shop, smashing the conventions of Washington and the international community.
House Speaker Greg Hughes will appear as a police officer putting drug dealers behind bars, reminding Utahns of the bad guys he vanquished on Rio Grande Street.
Second Congressional District candidate Shireen Ghorbani will be dressed as Miss Congeniality. She may not win the crown, but everyone likes her.
Congressman Chris Stewart will be dressed as an Air Force pilot because he doesn’t have any other costumes.
Attorney General Sean Reyes will be Sherlock Holmes, looking for clues on how to elevate his profile for the governor’s race in 2020.
Sen. Mike Lee will be dressed as a Founding Father, returning to haunt America for forsaking constitutional principles.
Third District Congressman John Curtis will be wearing his leather motorcycle gear and riding a Harley — not for Halloween, but to escape the craziness of Washington.
Senate President Wayne Niederhauser will be dressed as a large digital clock, counting down to the exact time he will be free from the political world.
State Auditor John Dougall will scare people at their doorsteps costumed as the Incredible Hulk, showing how he transforms from a mild-mannered electrical engineer into a terrorizer of government agencies.
Utah Democratic Party Chair Daisy Thomas will appear as the Little Match Girl, seeking hope in dire circumstances.
Utah Republican Party Chair Rob Anderson will dress up like John Wayne, fighting the right-wing gunslingers taking over his party.
Sen. Orrin Hatch will be Gandalf the Wizard, providing wisdom and strength against the forces of darkness (aka Senate Democrats) on the eve of his departure to another place far away (aka Utah).
U.S. House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi will dress as herself, terrorizing Democratic candidates who want to keep their distance.
Utah House Minority Leader Brian King will be Wyatt Earp, eager to have a showdown with Republican outlaws.
Senate Minority Leader Gene Davis will trick-or-treat as Confucius, stroking his beard as he offers wisdom on Medicaid expansion.
Pignanelli & Webb. Well, we expected to win the Mega Millions lottery, so we weren’t planning to have to beg for candy door-to-door. But since we didn’t win, we’ll be on the streets, dressed as ink-stained wretches, consigned to a hell of forever writing about politics.