THE DATING GAME
Newly acquired Dallas Maverick Luka Doncic has high aspirations — and not just in basketball.
Doncic told Bleacher Report he wouldn’t mind dating Jennifer Aniston.
“I hear she’s single now,” he said. “I mean, she’s nice. I just like her.”
Wrong number, dude. Please hang up and try again.
Basketball players looking for dates should call 1-800-KARDASHIAN. Operators are standing by.
KYRYLO'S CRUSH
Doncic isn’t the first Euro to have a crush on the “Friends” star.
In 2009, Jazz reserve Kyrylo Fesenko said he avoided staring at celebrities during Lakers games, but "I would do it, I'd be really happy if I see Jennifer Aniston. I watch her, like, 25 seasons."
Which is, like, 21 seasons longer than his career.
A BYGONE AGE
Egyptian goalkeeper Essam El-Hadary, 45, is the oldest player in World Cup history.
How old is he?
He remembers when people thought U.S. men’s soccer would rule.
WE GOT A GENIUS
Washington State coach Mike Leach blasted USA Today columnist Dan Wolken on Twitter for a column criticizing him.
Leach wrote, “Wolken is clearly a brilliant man, because he can write an article, without any sources, only his brilliance.”
Rock On is thinking: “You mean there’s another way to write?”
SIMPLY SEMANTICS
NBA draft wonk Adrian Wojnarowski was apparently among media told not to report picks ahead of the official announcement. So the ESPN star simply substituted the phrase “will select” with euphemisms such as “are enamored with,” “is zeroing in on” and “have no plans to pass on.”
Or in the case of the Jazz’s Luther Wright (1993), “regret ever seeing.”
FOOT FALL
Larry Brown Sports listed the best and worst picks of the 2018 NBA draft. Utah made the list, with its Grayson Allen selection rated third best.
You might say 20 other teams “tripped up” by not picking him.
IT’S A GAMBLE
Houston Astro Alex Bregman shaved his mustache between at-bats last week.
Pete Rose allegedly could be heard mumbling: “Did someone mention shaving? Cause I never did any of that!”
HOT-DOGGING IT
Dwight Perry, Seattle Times, on competitive eater Joey Chestnut saying he’d face Takeru Kobayashi if the latter would unblock him on Twitter: “Frankly, if we were Joey, Twitter isn’t the blockage we’d be most worried about.”
HORSE SENSE
Humor writer RJ Currie on sportsdeke.com: “Can’t say if Donald Trump will ask this year’s Triple Crown winner to the White House, but I’m pretty sure Justify is going to say ‘neigh.’”