Christmas and Thanksgiving are far and away my two favorite holidays. The names of both are self-explanatory as to why. Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks. Despite troubles and sorrows we can always find something for which we can be thankful. Christmas is a time to remember Jesus Christ, the Son of God and merciful Savior of mankind, and the Savior’s love for each of us.
Many, many years ago I was — metaphorically speaking — stabbed in the back by two of my lifelong besties. The betrayal was heightened because I was struggling to adjust to a new and difficult move and, even worse, it was because of ugly, mean things said and done by them and their children, directed at one of my children. My emotions veered between furious and heartbroken. I put on my running shoes and ran for 7-8 miles that day, hoping to run the hurt out of my broken heart. When they found out I knew what they had done, they tried to contact me. When I didn’t respond they left a note on my porch. Few things are more wrenching than to be “wounded in the house of (your) friends” (Zechariah 13:6).
To be honest, my hurt was only healed by myriad prayers and the passage of time. Also helpful was knowing that in my persistent imperfections I have offended others. How can I ask for the Savior’s mercy and forgiveness if I don’t forgive others? I am so glad I let go of my anger and hurt, and today I count them, among a tiny cadre of close friends, as two of my besties.
It was hard to imagine any betrayal more painful than that until recently. It is one thing to be betrayed by others. It is another thing to be persistently undervalued, taken for granted, and disregarded by others. It hurts to be expected to do for others with little or no recompense. Yet such experiences are an important part of our growth and learning in mortality — feeling anger but more often feeling heartache. A heartache that comes with the recognition things will not change yet you still love those people and wish they loved and valued you — a sadness so visceral and aching it penetrates your heart and doesn’t go away.
Yet, it can — and will — be mitigated and salved by turning to the Savior. How? Why? Because he perfectly understands what each of us is going through. He perfectly loves us and he is a perfect friend. Despite the fact that he knows all our flaws and foibles, he is constant and remains steadfastly by our side. He is our one, true, perfect friend. He can help us heal because he has “take(n) upon him (our) infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities” (Alma 7:12). These aren’t just empty words. These are true and real promises. He yearns to “succor us,” meaning provide assistance and support in times of hardship and distress. We can and will find relief and peace in this life as we turn to the Savior.
As Thanksgiving and Christmas approach, the good news of the gospel is that Jesus Christ loves us and values us. He will never take us for granted. As we read our scriptures and study his life and teachings, and as we pray, we will find a spiritual equilibrium that allows us to move forward and be grateful and charitable to others.
In her majestic poem, Emma Lou Thayne beautifully captures this promise and reality:
Where can I turn for peace? / Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,
I draw myself apart, / Searching my soul?
Where, when my aching grows, / Where, when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand? / He, only One.
He answers privately, /Reaches my reaching
In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind, / Love without end.
(“Where Can I Turn for Peace?,” Hymns, No. 129)
The hurt and longing may remain with us, but as we lay our troubles before the Savior we can feel his love and peace in our lives. It might require buckets of tears and persistent, prayerful beseechings, but we will realize his promise: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not you heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27). I am thankful for the love of the Savior Jesus Christ this Thanksgiving. Jesus Christ sees our potential and appreciates even our simplest attempts to do good. I love Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Kristine Frederickson writes on topics that affect members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints worldwide. She teaches part time at BYU. Her views are her own.
Email: kfrederickson.desnews@gmail.com