My son Beckham was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints almost a year ago. After becoming a member, we talked to him about all the ways the Lord can bless him throughout his life, if he continues to keep the commandments and “by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel” (see Article of Faith 3).
One of those laws is the law of the fast. This has been a particularly difficult law to keep for my 8-year-old son. On fast Sunday once a month, we have told our two oldest boys, who have been baptized, that they can choose whether to fast for two meals. Sometimes Beckham did, sometimes he didn’t, and never more than one meal at a time. I always told him I was proud of him for trying and we’d do better next month.
But after finishing “Insights From a Prophet’s Life” by Sheri Dew, an incredible look into the life of our prophet President Russell M. Nelson, my understanding of the importance of keeping the laws of the gospel deepened. I learned the only way we can receive all the blessings the Lord has in store for us is if we keep the law upon which those blessings are predicated. It’s that simple — although not that easy.
This month on fast Sunday, Beckham came downstairs. bleary-eyed and bed-haired, and plopped on my bed.
“Can you make oatmeal?” he asked me. I looked at him sympathetically.
“Beck, it’s fast Sunday today.”
“I don’t want to fast,” he said with a groan. “Can’t I just skip it this time?”
My first reaction was to say, “Of course you can. This is your choice to make.” However, something stopped me. I had a very strong impression that this could be a pivotal moment in my son’s life. He needed to not only understand the why of fasting, but the blessings associated with the law. I put my hands on his knees, and I told him that our whole family —aunts, uncles, cousins, grandmas and grandpas — was fasting for one of our family members and a difficult situation they were facing. I explained to him that I knew that even though it was really, really hard, that Heavenly Father would help him fast and bless him if he would keep the law exactly as written — which meant attending fast and testimony meeting as a family, paying a generous fast offering (for Brad and I to do for our family) and having no food or water for two consecutive meals. No breakfast. No lunch.
He cried. I told him I wouldn’t force him to do anything. It was his choice, but I told him we needed his faith for our family member. Then I read him the blessings associated with the law of the fast, which include:
• Closeness to the Lord
• Increased spiritual strength
• Temporal well-being
• Greater compassion
• A stronger desire to serve
Through his tears, Beckham told me he wanted to try to fast for the full two meals. I hugged him and told him how much I loved him for that.
I understand every person, every family and every circumstance is different. What I was encouraging my son to do may not have been the best idea or timing for someone else. But on this day, I felt if my son could prove to himself that he could obey a law, even if it was extremely difficult, then he would be eligible for all the blessings associated with that law and be spiritually and mentally strong to do the right thing when other difficult choices presented themselves later on in his life.
Watching my son struggle through fast and testimony meeting tore me apart. I could hear his little tummy rumbling next to me all throughout the meeting. When we got home after church, he told me he felt sick and laid down on the couch. He cried again and asked if he could please just have a snack. I told him he could if he wanted to, but I also told him I knew he could last a little longer and gave him a specific hour to get to. If he could just make it to that hour, I would make him anything he wanted for dinner. He told me he wanted ramen noodles, pizza bites and homemade chocolate chip cookies.
“You got it,” I said. Soon, he fell asleep.
With just 15 minutes left to go, Beckham came into my room, pale and shaky. I knew exactly what he was going through.
In a short prayer, I said, “Heavenly Father, my son is trying so hard to be obedient. Why aren’t thou making this easier for him? He is suffering. Please, please help him.”
Immediately I thought of the Savior, kneeling in Gethsemane, trying to obey his Father’s law and asking for the bitter cup to be removed. What he went through was unimaginably hard. Nevertheless, he submitted his will to his Father’s. And he suffered, and it wasn’t easy.
Beckham made it to the designated hour and I made him a hodgepodge feast only an 8-year-old boy could dream of, complete with those homemade chocolate chip cookies. I wrapped my arms around him and held him for a long time. “You did it,” I whispered. “You are eligible to receive all the blessings we talked about. I am so proud of you, and I know Heavenly Father is, too.”
A few days later, we discovered the miracle we were all fasting and praying for had happened. I gathered my boys around me and told them it was because of their sacrifice and faith. It was a beautiful moment, and the smile on Beckham’s face was something I won’t ever forget.
I know this is not the last time I will witness one of my sons fight so hard to do what’s right. I will watch them try, struggle and suffer and will want to take it all away. And I won’t be able to. But because of the Atonement, our Savior will be there with my boys, every step of the way, if they let him. It won’t always be easy. But with Christ, it will be possible — and all of the blessings will be worth it.
Carmen Rasmusen Herbert is a former “American Idol” contestant who writes about entertainment and family. Her email is carmen.r.herbert@gmail.com.