On Tuesday, police arrested a California woman for allegedly stealing 65 Stanley cups worth a total of $2,500. According to the police account, the woman stuffed a shopping cart full of Stanleys, left the store without paying and piled the mugs in her trunk.
Look. Crime isn’t funny. Except for when it sometimes kind of is.
The visual of a woman sprinting out of a store pushing a cart overflowing with Stanleys, chased by frazzled store clerks who can’t keep up, really makes me giggle.
I assume her plan was to sell the 65 beverage containers on some sort of water bottle black market. But I like to think that she intended to keep and use each one. A different cup every day for 65 days. Which, honestly, isn’t that irrational.
I myself own four Stanleys. One for work, one for the car (the cup fits perfectly in my cupholders), one for the house and an alternate that rotates in and out when one of the others needs to be washed. And if I’m being honest, I could use a few more. One for each room in the house, to be exact. Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, two for each room. One for water and one for Diet Coke. If you’re thinking, “Isn’t that ultimately more work, having to constantly refill each mug?” then you do not understand the Stanley mug appeal. So allow me a minute to explain.
First, these mugs are huge. Some of them hold 40 fluid ounces. Second, the insulated mugs keep beverages cold for a freakishly long time in any climate. Including car fires.
So the way I see it, I fill up the two Stanleys in every room at the start of the week and I’m looking at a full week of sufficient, refreshing hydration.
The Stanley Adventure Quencher Travel Tumbler has been the hottest trend in water consumption for over a year from a company with over a century-long history in food and beverage gear. The obsession with the “Adventure Quencher” is thanks to the marketing savvy of Stanley and influencer collaborations.
However, there’s chatter on the internet lately about the end of the Stanley craze. Business Insider reports, “The cool girls have already moved on from Stanley cups to a different massive water bottle.” Some have dubbed the Stanley a millennial mom token, an outdated relic of suburban life and all that’s wrong with modern society and consumerism. I’ve even seen social media posts mocking Stanley owners for needing giant sippy cups.
Which has me feeling a bit defensive. OK, a lot defensive.
First, because we in Utah can claim the origination of Stanley mania, powered by the women of The Buy Guide, and I think we should take pride in that. Second, while I do believe that hyperconsumerism is a problem and overconsumption is harmful to our planet, I also believe we’re allowed to like things every once in a while without the entire World Wide Web yucking our yums. Sure, it’s a little silly that customers are causing mayhem in pursuit of certain Stanley colors at Target. But life is hard. Why can’t we just let people feel joyful about a purchase?
Despite the Gen Z cyberbullies, I’m at the age where I know what I like. I’m like the dads who have listened to only Steely Dan for the past 30 years. My proverbial Steely Dan is the Stanley cup. And I don’t care if you like it. In fact, it’s better if you don’t because it will drive the cost down.
After the Roseville, California, police arrested the Stanley thief, they posted on their Facebook page, “While Stanley Quenchers are all the rage, we strongly advise against turning to crime to fulfill your hydration habits.”
I also strongly advise against turning to crime to fulfill your hydration habits, for many reasons, not least of which is loss of employment if I encourage readers to steal. And 65 cups is excessive. But if you want to legally purchase a few extras for maybe your home, office or car, I’m not going to yuck your yum.