Sticker shock: Is the American dream still attainable?

Lina Hardman does most of the shopping for her six-member Sandy, Utah, family. So she wasn’t surprised — though she was a bit amused and also sympathetic — when her husband, Nathaniel, recently got sticker shock while shopping for new shoes.

The price he had in the back of his mind and the price on the shoe in his hand were surprisingly far apart.

His feelings about that put him in very good company.

Prices — from housing to food, utilities and other goods and services families routinely need — have risen faster than many incomes. And the high cost of family life is a big challenge, according to the latest American Family Survey.

The nationally representative poll found just over 7 in 10 U.S. adults say raising kids is not affordable. The point is further driven home by other data. The finding crosses party lines, income levels and race-ethnicity as a “defining challenge” for families.

Conducted by YouGov for Brigham Young University’s Wheatley Institute, BYU’s Center for the Study of Elections and Democracy and Deseret News, the survey focuses on how families live, including attitudes across a range of topics from social media to foreign trade and social policy. Adults share how families spend time, what they value and their views on marriage and hot-button topics like birthright citizenship, immigration and pornography. The most recent edition was conducted Aug. 16-18, 2025, and includes 3,000 responses. The margin of error is plus or minus 2.1 percentage points.

The survey is being released at Brookings Institution in Washington, D.C., Friday morning.

Three themes emerged this year as particularly salient to families: economics and the cost of raising kids; the impact of technologies like social media, artificial intelligence and porn; and changing social norms around family and marriage.

Financial issues are a clear flashpoint, with the single biggest year-to-year jump in worry over the affordability of child rearing in the survey’s 11-year history.

Financial fretting

The high cost of family life was chosen almost twice as often as the next two items when adults were asked to pick their top three concerns from a list. Add in other economic worries, like whether good jobs are available or impact of work-related stress, and two-thirds chose economic issues. It’s also the most important reason adults list for limiting the number of children they have or plan on at a time when much of the world, including the U.S., ponders how to boost falling fertility rates.

Inflation has 53% “very” worried about it, another 33% “somewhat” worried — although there’s a clear partisan twist. When Democrat Joe Biden was president, 70% of Republicans and 40% of Democrats were “very” worried. With Republican Donald Trump in the White House, the numbers flipped and 64% of Democrats and 38% of Republicans say that.

For many, money worries are real life. More than one-third of adults said they experienced an economic crisis within the last year — and among those with household incomes below $40,000, half did. Households with children are more vulnerable, the survey found.

The survey couldn’t identify all the causes for the dramatic jump in concern over costs, said Jeremy C. Pope, study co-investigator and senior scholar at the center, Wheatley fellow and political science professor at BYU. But he said inflation undoubtedly plays a role. “Something has happened in the last few years that has caused more and more people to think children just aren’t very affordable.”

He calls inflation “a really big deal to people across the political spectrum. I’m not sure incomes have caught up with the level of inflation and I think as they’re staring at family trips, Christmas, even some of the week to week, they’re saying, ‘Can we do that this year?’”

Pope thinks economic angst is also related, at least for young adults, to how hard it has become to afford a house, long deemed a cornerstone of the “American dream.”

Study co-investigator Christopher F. Karpowitz, political science professor and senior scholar at BYU’s Center for the Study of Elections and Democracy, agrees. He said homeowners are more worried about finances and affordability overall than those who are not homeowners and noted middle-income and high-income people are also concerned.

The challenge is visible in data from the National Association of Realtors, which just announced the median age of the average first-time homebuyer is 40, compared to 33 in 2020. The group noted that “delayed or denied homeownership until age 40 instead of 30 can mean losing roughly $150,000 in equity on a typical starter home.”

“It’s kind of a shocking number,” Jessica Lautz, deputy chief economist and association vice president of research, told Fortune. “It’s really been in recent years that we’ve seen this steep climb.”

That concerns Nathaniel Hardman, too. “I think about how well my kids will be able to launch out on their own as the cost of housing has gotten so high.”

Do taxes, tariffs spell trouble?

American families worry about a lot more than expenses related to kids. A majority are at least “somewhat” and sometimes “very” worried about inflation (86%), but also rising taxes (78%), tariffs (71%), interest rates (69%), national debt (65%), lack of government support (52%) and unemployment (51%).

Taxes and tariffs also “cut into household budgets and make goods and services less affordable,” the report notes.

Pope believes most people hadn’t felt an effect from tariffs when the survey was conducted, though they may later when they realize they like buying inexpensive things, if that becomes harder to do.

The survey found partisan differences in concern about tariffs, with 60% of Democrats “very worried,” compared to 37% of independents and 15% of Republicans. The report deems it probable that Trump champions tariffs, so “Republicans do not want to believe tariffs could possibly hurt them — though since tariffs are really just a specific form of tax, this is obviously inconsistent with almost 4 in 10 Republicans who see higher taxes as a worry. Democrats’ concerns are also likely magnified by their opposition to the Trump administration.”

Nearly three-fourths of American adults believe trade is good, whether you sort the data by politics, education or income. Just 7% believe trade is bad for American families.

Pope said it’s likely respondents don’t realize the national debt totals roughly the country’s gross domestic product. “It’s hard for me not to worry that in the very near future, we’re going to have some kind of significant fiscal crisis that exacerbates all of this. But I don’t think I have seen any evidence in public opinion numbers that people really worry about the national debt,” Pope said.

Should government help?

The survey asked about support for government policies to help families financially and found nearly half of Americans (49%) like both money paid directly to families like larger tax credits and investments in programs like day care.

Pope said young adults seem more open in this survey to creating institutions and programs, rather than just sending checks to help families. “I think the tension with that is they’re developing more progressive attitudes at a moment when I think it’s less and less likely government can accomplish those things and can build the institutions, such as universal child care. That’s a big and interesting change. I just don’t know how it’s possible given our financial circumstances.”

The survey found most do not want aid to low-income families tied to parental marital status.

The share of adults who think marriage is needed for families to thrive has been declining over the years of the survey and “people now appear to be more interested in commitment as a value than marriage as an institution,” per the report.

Karpowitz said that “few reject marriage outright as a societal good, but that view‘s definitely softening over time.”

The report calls it “notable” that fewer adults recognize married couples tend to have higher household incomes. And it notes the incremental shifts in attitude since the survey began have added up.

Many who study families say the value a good marriage adds should not be overlooked.

“Stable, healthy marriages are beneficial to families. Having a supportive, highly engaged spouse promotes well-being and satisfaction among parents, and being raised by parents who are committed to one another and invested in shared goals provides a foundation for children to be supported — and ultimately thrive in a family environment where they will be nurtured and loved,” Richard J. Petts, a Ball State University sociologist and senior scholar at the Council on Contemporary Families, told Deseret News.

Opposition to direct assistance or program investment dropped about 10 percentage points since 2021. Opposition to supporting families with some government policies fell about 20 percentage points among Republicans and nearly 15 for independents. Democrats already largely favored supports.

Fewer than 1 in 5 oppose universal day care and increased child tax credits, while about a quarter don’t take sides. Another quarter oppose direct payments to parents who care for their children at home; 44% favor that to some degree.

More Democrats (81%) support universal child care than do Republicans (34%) or independents (49%).

Younger adults are generally more supportive of aid to low-income parents, while those over 65 in larger numbers largely reject all such aid. Of those supporting aid, “most felt that it should not be dependent on marital status.”

When crisis hits home

Every year, the survey asks if people have experienced any of six economic challenges: being hungry but unable to afford enough food, not paying the full amount of an important bill, borrowing or receiving money from a friend or relative to help pay bills, moving in with others because of finances, staying in a shelter or sleeping in a car or abandoned building or whether someone in the household chose not to get needed medical care due to cost.

In the earliest days of the survey, as many as 40% said they’d had at least one such crisis. With pandemic financial assistance, the number dropped significantly. This year, 35% said they’d experienced at least one.

The survey finds lots of difference in who experienced them. Half of those with incomes below $40,000 said yes. But even among those with incomes of $80,000 or more, more than 1 in 5 had such an experience within the last year.

Since 2016, unmarried Americans have consistently been more apt than married counterparts to have had money trouble. This year, 39% reported at least one recent economic crisis, compared to 29% of married Americans. The report calls marriage a “stabilizing factor against economic hardship, though neither group is immune to broader financial volatility.”

In the last year, 44% of Black and 42% of Hispanic Americans said they’d had such a crisis, compared to 31% of White and 25% of Asian Americans.

“The persistent disparities highlight how long-standing structural inequities — such as those tied to income, employment opportunities and wealth accumulation — continue to shape economic vulnerability in the United States,” the report said.

Those with children at home have also been consistently more likely to have such a crisis than those without, though the gap has narrowed. In this survey, 39% of households with children had at least one such crisis compared to 34% of childless households.

Nearly a third reported they couldn’t make it even a month on savings alone. For the unemployed, 38% said savings would last less than four weeks, but it wasn’t really longer for 29% of those who are employed. Of those not working, 32% said they could make it at least six months, as could 29% of the employed.

What families face

The Hardman children are Anika, 15; Seth, 13; Kari, 10; and Adam, 5. Lina and Nathaniel married 19 years ago, having met when they lived in the same apartment building in college.

Now he’s a data scientist and she is, for the most part, a stay-at-home mom, though she works a few hours a week. They are very aware of the challenges U.S. families may face.

While cost of raising a family was the top issue when survey respondents were asked to pick the three most important issues facing families in general from a list, it certainly isn’t the only one, though 49% chose it.

Other top choices for families in general included violence or abuse within a family (28%), high work demands and stress on parents (25%), social media and other tech (23%), children growing up without two parents at home (also 23%) and lack of good jobs or wages (22%).

The results were different when the survey asked about important issues facing one’s own family.

Karpowitz was struck by the finding that only 9% chose differences or disagreements between family members when pondering families in general, but 21% said it’s a big concern in their own.

Mental or physical health struggles was the top choice (31%) when considering one’s own family, followed by cost of raising a family (25%), lack of good jobs or wages (23%), tension or disagreements between family members (21%) and a tie between high work demands for parents and social media and other tech (both 17%).

While mental or physical health struggles were the top issue within one’s own family, even outpacing costs, just 21% picked that for families in general.

“I think we’re seeing a lot of economic turmoil in the lives of American families. It’s not the only kind of turmoil. And there are other things that matter, like mental and physical health struggles, but those two things are not unrelated,” Karpowitz said. “One of the reasons you might feel anxiety or concern of some sort, mental or health struggles, is you have economic stress in your life. I think that’s important to recognize.”

Karpowitz emphasized how little difference was found between Democrats and Republicans thinking about their own families and concerns. But for “the family” writ large, they highlight different things. One area where the survey has shown a bigger difference is in religious attendance, he said. Republicans go to services more than Democrats do.

Family life

The Hardmans are excited to see who their children will become as adults, but have expectations. Growing up, Nathaniel knew his parents couldn’t afford to put him through college, so he worked hard to get a scholarship. He and Lina hope their children will earn scholarships, too. They feel it’s important their children contribute to their future.

They’ve been creative in helping them. That was the genesis of date nights where neighborhood couples leave their children at the Hardman home. The kids get dinner, a movie and play with other kids. Anika babysits, with backup. It lets her contribute to the cost of her extracurricular sports activities despite her busy schedule.

Lina didn’t like chores growing up, but came to appreciate them. “I’ve heard that’s one of the biggest indicators of being successful as an adult,” she said.

They assign simple, fast chores the kids can do right after school, rotating them. Nathaniel said they also do a nightly blitz where they try to work on things simultaneously.

For fun, they may play frisbee as a family or go on hikes. They like board games and having company. Reading is still a favorite group pastime. “My husband’s really good at reading books with different voices and making it fun,” Lina said, “and he even read to my oldest two until just in the last couple of years when they were too busy. He still does that a little bit.”

The goals for this American family include teaching their children the value of hard work and of both saving and sharing what they earn with their labor.

They go to church weekly, even on vacation and hope their children will always do that, too. They mostly manage to pray together and read scriptures every night. While religion appears to be slipping nationally, the Hardman parents believe it’s vital, from being connected to good role models to giving time to “things that might help you know God or Jesus Christ more and see their hand in your life,” as Lina put it. “We appreciate a lot of opportunities we had growing up that helped us feel that and we want that for our kids.”

Said Nathaniel, “Ultimately, our kids will have to take care of themselves one day and be out on their own and we won’t be able to set rules for them or compel them to make right decisions.”

They’re preparing them now.