Instead of hearing wedding bells ring, lately there’s been a funeral dirge for the institution of marriage. With marriage rates hitting historic lows in recent years (and recovering only slightly), romance seems dead. While the reasons for this are multifaceted, we can’t ignore how religiosity is plummeting simultaneously.
Religious “nones” — those who have no religious affiliation — are trending toward the majority. Similarly, the marriage rate is below 50% for U.S. adults, and younger generations are less inclined toward marriage, according to studies.
There’s a statistically significant overlap between the religious nones and the unmarried. Pew Research found that religious nones were more likely than the general public to be unmarried while the religiously affiliated (especially Latter-day Saints and Presbyterians) are more likely to be married. Religiosity increases the likelihood of marriage, according to a landmark longitudinal study published last year.
One of the reasons for this is intuitive — marriage and religion have a close connection.
In the purview of the courts, marriage is a legal contract, while in the purview of churches, marriage is usually a commitment with another person and with God. For example, Catholics believe that matrimony is a sacrament and a covenant that emulates Christ’s relationship with the Catholic Church. Latter-day Saints also see marriage as a sacrament and covenant — in total union with a spouse and God.
Nonreligious couples value commitment and some of them choose to get married, but they are more likely to cohabit than religious couples are. This, among other factors, has propelled marriage to become “increasingly an institution of the highly religious,” as Brian J. Willoughby said. This trend is especially troubling because significant empirical evidence suggests that married people are happier and healthier.
Additionally, married people are generally more likely to be religious and stay religious.
Both religion and marriage have demonstrable benefits. Research shows actively religious people tend to be happier, more civically engaged, participate in more communities, report some health benefits and engage in more philanthropy. Marriage has benefits for individual couples and their children, but also is instrumental in creating economic stability.
Preserving both marriage and religion has the capacity to lead to a more just society, but the institutions are also vital to each other. Understanding some of the reasons behind religious disaffiliation illuminates why a culture of marriage is so important.
A study of over 2,500 adults found that those who disaffiliate from religion had fewer religious experiences than their religiously attached peers, but those religious experiences correlate with the marital status of parents. When parents remain married, children tend to have more religious experiences, such as family prayer and attending church. The opposite is true of children with divorced or separated parents.
It’s also true that fewer people are having religious marriages as the study points out. However, divorce has a lasting impact on the religiosity of children. Divorce rates that trend upward seem to contribute to decreased religiosity of generations.
Researchers have discovered that children who grow up in a single-parent household are more likely to disaffect from their religion and less likely to attend religious services. The U.S. has a uniquely high percentage of children who live in single-parent households — around a quarter. Since 1960, the number of children who live with only their mother has tripled. Single-parent households face significant disadvantages across the board. While religious community could help mitigate some of those disadvantages, divorce’s correlation with religious disaffection widens the chasm.
As children observe the rupture of their parents’ marriage, they become less likely to be religious growing up and more likely to either not marry or have an unstable marriage. This creates a cycle that’s difficult for children to break out of when they are adults. While it’s possible for them to buck these sorts of trends and become enthusiastic about preserving marriage and religion, these trends are often passed down from generation to generation.
The religious compatibility trends may seem all doom and gloom, but there are still ways to cultivate a culture of marriage that leads to the flourishing of religion.
If adults are married, they can spend time improving their communication and find ways to strengthen their relationship. Dating while married, especially doing new activities, can lead to a happier marriage. Having a strong marriage while being religiously active can positively impact your current or future family.
Parents who model religion for their children through consistent daily acts of devotion encourage their children to remain religious. Two of the key acts of devotion to cultivate children’s faith are attendance at religious services and prayer and/or meditation.
For adults who aren’t married, like myself, contributing to a culture of marriage might feel foreign and intimidating. Personal preparation for marriage through self-improvement and being religiously active is one way to contribute. Another way is to help married couples keep their relationship strong, such as babysitting for a couple’s date nights, and being part of a community that values marriage.
The steep decline in marriage and religiosity casts a dark prognosis for the health of our society, but taking both seriously might be what we need to do to reverse the trend.