It’s not uncommon to hear stories of beloved actors and actresses who, in real life — off the cameras — treat those they live and work with poorly. That’s something that stands out about the many tributes pouring in to Malcolm-Jamal Warner, who played Theo Huxtable on “The Cosby Show” from age 14 to 22. While on vacation with family, the actor drowned in Costa Rica on Sunday afternoon when a riptide pulled him under.
After saying her heart was “so so sad,” actress Tracee Ellis Ross described the 54-year old actor on Instagram as “warm, gentle, present, kind, thoughtful, deep, funny, elegant,” saying: “You made the world a brighter place.”
Morris Chestnut, who worked with him on the hospital TV series “The Resident,” called him on Facebook “one of the nicest in the business” — with Kate Hudson calling him “the kindest and sweetest.”
Angela Bassett, who starred with Warner on Fox’s show “9-1-1,” wrote “even in his youth, Malcolm’s empathy, quiet strength, and his bright light surrounded us all.”
“While his iconic roles — from comedic to dramatic — are unforgettable and timeless,” the Fox network said in a statement, “Malcolm will be remembered most for his warmth, kind heart and the lasting impact he had on his friends, family and fans everywhere.”
What was it that influenced Warner to treat those around him so well, I wondered. Yet there weren’t many clues showing up in obituaries featured on mainstream news sites.
A deeper search made things clearer.
‘God isn’t a dictator’
Warner believed in Jesus Christ, discussing his faith on podcasts and social media. He was ordained in 2016 as a minister with the Universal Life Church in order to officiate at a friend’s wedding.
Warner became more vocal about his Christian faith in recent years, according to beliefnet — which added, “Though Warner was never outspoken in a traditional religious sense, his life and words revealed a deep and personal relationship with Jesus Christ.”
“He frequently shared on social media the importance of treating others with compassion, humility, and love — values he said were rooted in Christ’s teachings.”
The tribute noted the actor “often emphasized that Christ came not only to conquer sin but also to bring healing and hope to those suffering physically, emotionally and spiritually.”
During a 2020 podcast appearance, Warner said, “God isn’t a dictator. Love doesn’t coerce — it invites."
A month before his death, Warner spoke on his podcast, Not All Hood, with costar Keshia Knight Pulliam (Rudy in “The Cosby Show”) — saying that if we are “allowing God to do his thing — won’t he do it?”
Pulliam suggested that people of faith sometimes forget the power within themselves to do great things. “A lot of times people wait for God to save them but God works through people,” she said.
Warner won a 2015 Grammy for “Best Traditional R&B Performance” for a remix of Stevie Wonder’s song ”Jesus Children.” The song begins, “Are you hearing what he’s saying? Are you feeling what you’re praying?”
Warner vocalizes during the song, “Let’s give our children love and gratitude,” adding, “let these 6- and 7-year olds take a hold of our consciousness to remind us to laugh.”
‘His most cherished role’
In one of his last podcast appearances on May 21 with Melyssa Ford, Warner said, “It is possible to walk through this world and, with all of the darkness in the world, it is possible to maintain your soul and be a good person.”
Since his passing, Ford described him as an “incredible HUMAN.”
“Besides being an accomplished actor, poet, musician, his most cherished role was Father and Husband,” she added.
Warner has one daughter with his wife. He sought to keep his family protected from media attention. Several years ago, he posted on Father’s Day his feelings about being a dad: “You have absolutely no idea. A love so profound that even a poet can’t find the words to describe it.”
Warner himself created poetry, and was nominated in 2023 for a Grammy for “Best Spoken Word Poetry Album” for "Hiding In Plain View.“
More recently, Warner posted a throwback video of him dancing with his 1-year-old daughter in his arms.
About his family now grieving, Ford wrote, “May they find comfort in the knowledge that his faith was strong but his love for them defined him.”
On Ford’s podcast, Warner shared something his father, Robert Warner Jr., had told him recently. “People love you and people (are) always talking about your career and your success and all of that. But what really makes me the most proud is that you are a good person.”
Warner added this was “because my dad’s a good person.”
‘Such a full life’
Of course, there was much more to Warner than his family and his faith. Warner had other acclaimed acting roles since “The Cosby Show,” including “Reed Between the Lines” (2011–2015), “Suits” (2016–2017), and “The Resident” (2018–2023). He received multiple awards for both his acting and singing — including an Emmy nomination in 1986 for “Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series.”
Warner advocated for the Black community throughout his life on his "Not All Hood" podcast, social media and in public speaking. In 2024, Warner expressed concern with popular hip-hop promoting “misogyny, murder, mayhem and disrespect of fellow Black people.”
“Our Black music has somehow become anti-Black, and has been so normalized that it gets right by us.”
Since his podcast often addressed some “heavier topics,” Warner liked to “start with what’s good in the world.” After an episode this spring where he and his guests discussed challenging aspects of the COVID pandemic, Warner admitted that he often found himself “constantly battling overwhelm.” He said that “some days it’s a losing battle and I find myself constantly stressed, you know, trying to keep everything balanced.”
His co-host Candace Kelley asked what he did to bring back balance when he found himself a “little off.”
“I have to be still,” Warner responded — describing how when he hadn’t had time to meditate, he would sit in his recliner even just for five minutes and “just be still and remember all really is good.”
“I’m having a moment of gratitude and appreciation for having such a full life,” he added, recounting positive developments in his work and music. But then Warner said, “I’ve got such a beautiful home life — it’s like, I can’t go through an episode of this podcast without bragging on my wife and daughter.”
In a recent Instagram post, Warner was driving his car while “rocking” a flower in his hair that his daughter had given him on her birthday. “It’s a beautiful day here in Atlanta. I just want to shout out and spread some love and some good cheer,” he said. “No matter what’s going on, there’s always a reason to smile.”
He continued, “If for some reason you can’t find a reason to smile, then that’s probably the best time to be the reason for somebody else to smile.”
“That’s all I got,” he added. “Peace and love. I’ll be back soon.”