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A chief desire of all Christian grandparents is that their grandchildren and great-grandchildren follow Jesus Christ, and President Dallin H. Oaks and Sister Kristen Oaks are no different.
President Oaks and his late wife, June Dixon Oaks, had five children.
Now President and Sister Oaks have:
- 29 grandchildren.
- 73 great-grandchildren.
- 2 great-great-grandchildren.
His descendants say President Oaks is a kind, approachable, thoughtful grandfather who thinks of them and has time for them.
“He’s so full of love. He’s really a giant teddy bear,” said Tiffany Oaks Bratt, a granddaughter who lives in Florida.
She and other family members say he and Sister Oaks inspire their extended family to follow Christ and walk the covenant path toward what members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believe is an eternity as a family.
“He’s always helped our family focus on the Lord,” Bratt said, “and he brings every conversation back to improving our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.”
Here are five simple, repeatable ways they do that:
Pointing his posterity toward Easter and the Atonement of Jesus Christ
In February, President Oaks posted a video in which he called Christ’s Resurrection “the most glorious event in history” and asked church members to focus on the celebration of Easter.
“The prophets and teachings of the restored Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints affirm that Jesus Christ came forth out of the grave and lives today as a resurrected being,” he said in a New Year’s Day post. “Similarly, because of Christ’s Atonement, all who have ever lived on this earth will also be resurrected, in order to live forever as resurrected beings.”
President Oaks practiced his own preaching with his descendants.
He and Sister Oaks regularly send packages to their grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and this spring they sent a special Easter one to each family, Bratt said.
“Last Easter, they sent us all an Easter care package with a little Easter garden to prepare for Easter and teach our children the stories of Easter,” she said.
Sharing lessons from prophets and apostles
President and Sister Oaks host a family dinner on the evening of the final Sunday session of each of the church’s general conferences in April and October.
Those dinners have been “extremely unique and special” for their grandchildren and great-grandchildren, said Trent Boulter, a grandson who serves as a bishop in American Fork, Utah.
“As the family got older and more mature, we started to have family meetings about what we had heard and what stood out and the points of interest that had come out of the other general authorities’ talks,” Boulter said.
“And then grandpa would dispense fatherly and patriarchal advice to our family.”
Boulter said he brought Kelsey, his future wife, to one of the post-conference family meetings.
“One of the things that struck her the most,” he said, “was the leadership that (my grandpa) demonstrated within his family to provide that guidance and that teaching and instruction, and that was something that she pointed out she had always wanted in her family.”
The tradition continued earlier this month.
“As we had a family dinner after conference to follow in that tradition that we’ve had for so long,” Boulter said, “(Grandpa) took the time to walk around ... to actually say hi to every one — each of the grandkids and great-grandkids and even those two great-great-grandkids."
President Oaks gave each a hug and asked how they were doing. Boulter said he ministers to each differently, recognizing their differences.
“It’s one of the things that helps me to feel like each one of us is special,” Boulter said. “I know that I say I have a unique and special relationship with Grandpa, and I’m pretty sure most of my cousins would echo the same thought, but for different reasons.
“And so I feel like I can’t say that he acts this way with his grandkids or his great grandkids, because it’s so unique and individual with each one.”
This month’s meeting was different, because President Oaks had become the senior apostle of the church and would be set apart as the church’s 18th president nine days later.
“The thing that I treasure the most is when he bears testimony,” Boulter said, “because he doesn’t ever let an opportunity go to counsel his family.”
President Oaks bore his testimony at the Sunday evening conference family meeting.
“To have him bear that testimony again (that night),” Boulter said, “after the week that he’d had, stepping into the role as the presiding high priest in the church, it was very special and unique to be a part of that group of 71 people in the house gathered together for that family meeting.”
Grandchild of the month
President Oaks created a special bond with his grandchildren during their childhoods by honoring a Grandchild of the Month.
Each month, following the order of their ages, President Oaks displayed a grandchild’s photo in his office at church headquarters in Salt Lake City.
“Then he would send a special letter to the grandchild to let them know how much he loved them,” Bratt said, “let them know that their picture was up in his office and that he was so proud of them.
“It was so special when it was your turn to be the grandchild of the month to get that letter from grandpa in the mail. We cherished our letters from grandpa.”
Boulter said the letters were formal and signed by a man they revered both as their grandfather and an apostle of Jesus Christ.
“I’m fairly certain,” he said, “that each of my siblings and I — and I would anticipate that many of my cousins as well — have a stack of those letters, because they were signed by grandpa."
Learning ‘The Living Christ’ and other family-wide efforts
President and Sister Oaks directly pointed the grandchildren to Christ when they challenged the whole family to memorize the church’s 722-word document, “The Living Christ.”
They made and sent spiral-bound notebooks with pictures for smaller grandchildren and great-grandchildren, Bratt said.
“We each helped our families and our children memorize ‘The Living Christ’ and help each other along the way,” she said. “It was so special.”
Boulter said the extended Oaks family also has memorized “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” and various scriptures.
Sister Oaks takes leadership in many of the family initiatives, he said.
“We are so grateful to have her as part of our family,” Boulter said. “She is constantly putting together programs and challenges and things that she and my Grandpa are endorsing to the family.”
They recently started a compliment club to recognize a specific member of the family and send them a compliment.
“I think one of the greatest things that he’s done is continue to live in an eternal family,” Boulter said, “and to emphasize that by finding things for us to do together, even if it’s asynchronously and apart.”
“It’s just a blessing and a privilege to be his granddaughter,” Bratt added. “He’s taught us so much that has helped us come together as a family and follow in the footsteps of Jesus Christ.
Teaching his family to fish
President Oaks is an enthusiastic fisherman, like President Thomas S. Monson and President Russell M. Nelson before him.
He has taught each of his grandchildren to fish at family reunions in Joe’s Valley near Castle Dale, Utah.
“He’d wake us up early,” Boulter said, “pull out the fishing pole and he would pull you up on his back so he could walk (you) across the river with his waders on.
“He’d put you in the right spot, hand you the fishing pole, and then say, ‘OK, when you feel something pull, call to me.’ Then he would go get the second cousin into a different spot.”
Boulter remembers President Oaks pulling out his old knife and helping the grandchildren clean the fish they caught to get it ready for dinner and then cooking it that night.
“Having that one-on-one time or two-on-one time with Grandpa growing up was super sweet,” he said.
Bratt remembers the same thing.
“We always greatly look forward to when it was our turn,” she said. “I remember when grandpa took me and taught me how to fish, and he took great care to find a good spot and then wait quietly for a fish to come.
“I just felt so much love. He was a loving teacher, and it was always so special to be able to spend time with him.”
The Oaks’ grandchildren say there are many other ways their grandparents have loved them and pointed them to Christ, like giving bear hugs, expressing his love, holding sleepovers, sharing family stories and the family missionary map President Oaks has kept in his office, inspiring his descendants to serve Christ around the world.
“He’s done so many things like that,” Bratt said, “where he’s tried to bring our family toward the Savior and help us progress along the covenant path and help each other along the way as well.”
“He has taught us the importance of family,” she added. “family and the love of the Savior.”
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