Though it was always possible that her husband, being at the time the second senior apostle of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, could become the next prophet president of the church, Sister Kristen Oaks recently recounted the shock and solemnity that fell upon her and her husband, President Dallin H. Oaks, when they received news of then church President Russell M. Nelson’s death.
“I never thought my husband would be the prophet,” Sister Oaks told Sheri Dew, executive vice president and chief content officer of Deseret Management Corporation, in a recent interview for the Church News podcast.
“He’d been such a devout counselor,” she explained. In fact, President Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles “told me that he’d never seen anyone who was so loyal or so supportive. And he just loved the prophet.”
But President Oaks hadn’t felt the entire “weight of the responsibility” that President Nelson had been carrying as prophet of the church, she said. And that weight “is real, it is tangible, and I saw it fall on him.”
Sister Oaks then explained that she even saw a change in herself.
“I don’t want to call it a reverence, but (rather) a solemnity,” she said. “And I felt like I had to treat so many things so differently. I saw a lot of things differently, and that surprised me.”
The “startling” nature of the moment, of President Nelson’s death and of the consequent transitions in church leadership, however, didn’t cloud the fact that God was still leading his church, she said.
“We are never without a prophet,” she explained. And “my husband wants everyone to know that we are never without Heavenly Father’s guidance.”
Of course a prophet must be “officially ordained,” she said. But the power and keys of the priesthood “are always here on the earth and no one ever needs to fear.”
In the remainder of the interview, Sister Oaks discussed with Dew a variety of other topics, including how she views the worldwide church, what she’s looking forward to as the prophet’s wife, and what she’s learned marrying into President Oaks’ family at age 53. Some key points of their conversation are summarized below, and a link to their full conversation can be found here.
‘Growing up to fill the position’
There are multiple factors and moments Sister Oaks can now identify looking back and see how they have prepared her to support and serve alongside her husband, she said.
These include her career’s professional opportunities, instances where she’s been protected from harm, and her experiences living as a single adult until the age of 53.
“In accidents or places where I was, I’ve been protected a lot,” Sister Oaks said. And in her career as a publishing consultant, she said she received many opportunities to speak in front of large and diverse audiences.
Having a family and marrying into President Oaks’ family has also prepared her “more than anything to learn about the needs of people in our church,” she said.
And having been single until age 53, Sister Oaks said she has been able to help her husband “understand the needs of single people.”
“I talk about it (and) I think they’re valiant, I think they’re necessary, I think they’re just an important part of our church,” she said.
Looking forward, Sister Oaks said that “growing up to fill the position” will be what she’s striving for.
“I don’t see this really as a sacrifice,” she said. “I see it as an honor and as an opportunity.… I went on a mission to Japan (and) I’ve never felt that I was sacrificing anything when I helped Heavenly Father — he gave me too much back.”
The ‘church is amazing’
In the 25 years President and Sister Oaks have been married, the two have been able to travel the globe and minister to Latter-day Saints worldwide.
These ministry trips have enabled Sister Oaks to learn that “every nation has its strengths” and that church members worldwide are faithful and committed.
People in South America are warm and energetic, she said. “They like to eat late at night. They like to laugh. They like to love.” And in Asia, a land she loves having served there as a young missionary, Sister Oaks said she sees the reticence, strength and beauty the people hold.
Each place has taught her “the gospel just enhances everyone’s life that it touches,” she said, adding that she has been able to learn from each peoples’ example.
In the Philippines, for instance, the people are “a service people,” she said. Both President and Sister Oaks lived in the Philippines while he was assigned to serve as the church’s Philippines Area president from 2002 to 2004.
During that time, Sister Oaks said she was able to learn “many lessons” about family, unity, service and joy from local members’ example.
“They are so enduring as a people, and family is so important to them...,” she said. “They have so many difficulties. They have every type of weather, every type of disaster, and they’re so resilient.”
Outside of ministry trips abroad, Sister Oaks said she and her husband also enjoy hopping around and visiting different church congregations to see “the real church.”
Week after week, she said this has left her in awe of the church’s youth, local leaders, teachers and primary children. “In the primary, you go in and they’re singing their hearts out,” she said, “And it always makes me cry. … It’s just, this church is amazing.”
A word to Latter-day Saint single adults and all members of the church
At one point, Sister Oaks discussed the influence of temple worship, both before and after she married President Oaks.
Temple worship is “the best medicine in the world,” she said.
She then explained that as an unmarried woman, the temple was a place where she “had the priesthood.” Thus, she recommended single women, especially, to go to the temple often, saying it’ll help them to feel God’s power in their lives.
“If I want to know truth, or I have a problem or I need to be comforted,” she said, “I always go there and I always come away feeling better.”
Near the close of the interview, Sister Oaks once again directed her words to Latter-day Saint single adults and members worldwide saying: “This is a church of joy.”
“I think this is such a joyous time,” she said, “and I think maybe 20 years ago, you preached, ‘Get married, get married, get married.’’
But today, Sister Oaks said she’d say, ‘Get involved in the church, and then all good things will come to you that you want.’
“This world is so desperate for truth and for goodness, for honesty,” she said, adding that she’d just like to help people know that “God lives, that Jesus is the Christ, that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and translated the Book of Mormon by the gift and power of the Holy Ghost, that we have the priesthood, and there is a living prophet on the earth and there will always be a living prophet on the earth.”