We all get them, Spam calls from unknown sources telling us that we owe a toll in a state we’ve never visited or debt relief from a loan we’ve never taken or an auto warranty for a car we sold to a neighbor years ago. How do they even get our number? Or email? Or know our names?
Robo calls, bogus emails and IRS impersonators abound. Scammers can assign the name of a legitimate company or government agency to their own phone number or email address making us think they are who they say they are.
Bridette Shamy, owner of the online fashion clothier SexyModest, posted on Instagram that she was recently scammed. Here’s what she said:
“I got scammed. And it was the scariest day of my life. They were experts posing as federal agents. They said there were two federal warrants out for my arrest because I did not appear for jury duty.”
Afraid, uncertain and, eventually, compliant; she sent thousands of dollars to the scammers.
Scams are a serious issue, often involving tactics targeting older people. Red flags include being told to act quickly, requests for private information and pressure to pay in unusual ways.
Another new scam approach is a text that says, “we possibly owe you money.”
Here’s one that I just received this morning: “We possibly owe you as much as $753.35. A recent order caused us to overcharge you last year. Your refund is ready.” Contact information is then included.
The FBI reports that billions of dollars are fraudulently scammed from people worldwide each year. The FBI now issues an annual report on fraud cases and ways to protect against them.
Despite knowing that fraudulent scams exist, why do we fall victim to them so readily? And what are the consequences of being suspicious of every text, every caller, every email?
Law enforcement and security personnel say that older people are often targeted in fraudulent scams because we are more trusting, more open and more willing to “make things right” than any other age demographic. These desirable traits, however, can be used against us.
Fraudsters are getting more sophisticated, too. Like offering me a refund on a bogus “overcharge” from a year ago. Or impersonating loved ones in bogus schemes asking for money. Voice cloning can now get used in scams where the criminal pretends to be a family member who is in trouble — or a trusted figure asking for urgent help.
Fraudulent scams are designed to create a sense of urgency, pressuring people to make quick decisions without thinking it through. A situation seems to call for quick action. We respond.
It’s a mistake to act quickly or to take action without consulting other trusted family members or advisors. Take a deep breath. Resist the urge to click on links, open attachments, or call unknown phone numbers. Instead, think through the situation and call a trusted friend or family member to explain what’s happening.
Scams hurt everyone. Not just their victims. Among the many adverse effects of widespread fraud is the declining trust we have toward each other.
Scams can make us suspicious of everyone.
According to the Pew Survey Research Center, 71% of Americans think interpersonal confidence has worsened in the past 20 years, and, about half (49%) think a major weight dragging down such trust is that we are not as reliable as we used to be.
With fraud on the rise, can you blame us?
But if we see a schemer in everyone we meet, who loses most?
Scams affect the well-being of all of us, even if we are never an actual victim. The prevalence of fraud can leave us feeling vulnerable, suspicious, untrusting, maybe even powerless.
What’s to be done?
Fight back.
Fighting back certainly includes taking the appropriate precautions to avoid falling victim to a scam. Educating others can help, too. There’s nothing like educating others to feel more empowered ourselves.
So does creating and expanding our own “circle of trust.” Building trust with friends, neighbors and even “consequential strangers” — like letter carriers and auto repair specialists — can enable us to feel less alone and safer. There is safety in numbers. We need each other.
In a subtle way, going to church or a book club or a senior center are ways we can “fight back” because they insulate us against loneliness.
“The more we talk about something that seems overwhelming, the less influence it has on us,” says assisted living resident Joyce Cannon. “Sharing experiences with each other makes us less fearful, less afraid, more in control. Knowledge is power.”
Having a network of friends we can rely on provides reassurance and reduces mistrust.
So does having a pet.
In a study reported in the Journal of Research in Personality, researchers asked people to generate a list of life goals and rate how confident they felt in achieving them. The study found that pet owners had longer lists and were much more confident in being able to realize their goals. The researchers concluded that a pet can provide a safe haven and a secure base from which to engage with the wider world
So, don’t answer your phone or give money or personal details to anyone who calls, texts or emails unless you know them well and have vetted them thoroughly.
But don’t look for a monster under every bed, either. Rely on others who you can trust. And broaden that circle of trust deliberately and intentionally.
Don’t let the scammers win.