- Half of people who make resolutions have given up by the second Friday of January.
- The more specific the goal, the better the chance you'll achieve it.
- You can start or stop any time, since there really are no rules.
Today — Friday, Jan. 9 — is Quitter’s Day.
The second Friday in a new year is the average day when half of the folks who made a well-intentioned New Year’s resolution have admitted defeat and gone back to doing or being whatever they were at the end of last year.
Still a couch potato, a smoker, a drinker, a person who drives too fast or doesn’t meet that lofty book reading goal. Still spending too much time online or doom scrolling.
Emma Parkhurst, a Utah State University Extension health and wellness professional practice associate professor, suggests that people not beat themselves up too much, because they’re in very good company. But they should recognize what’s blocking them from reaching their goals. In a note to the media, she said that most resolutions are simply too vague.
Set goals that are “SMART,” she suggests. That means “specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely.”
For example, if you want to reduce how often you check your social media, she said the goal could be: “To check social media less often, I will set a timer on my phone for 15 minutes each morning and evening and only scroll during those times. I will turn off my phone notifications so I’m not tempted to check. I’ll try this for a week and update my goal if needed.”
Alternatively, you could focus on progress or growth, rather than something with a stark success or failure vibe.
She’s been a quitter herself, Parkhurst told Deseret News by email. “I used to have a hard time making resolutions because I would set one that wasn’t realistic and fall victim to the ‘failed’ resolution and then feel discouraged about making new ones.”
She said what helped her most is making realistic goals, “which for me means they’re small and more progress-focused) paired with using habit stacking. My brain craves routine, so I find more success with my resolutions if I attach them to another habit. One real example is my goal to increase my vegetable intake. I already make a fruit and veg smoothie for my kids every morning, so I just make a larger serving so I can have some as well.”
In a news release, Parkhurst offers tips:
- Figure out why you’re setting a particular goal. “Your goals should be personally driven, not based on what you think others want for you. Tap into your values to understand what matters most, and use goals to align your efforts.”
- Limit yourself to one or two goals at a time.
- Celebrate even little successes or changes that move you toward your resolution.
- Talk about your goals or have an accountability buddy, which makes sticking to it more likely.
- Habit stacking could help. That’s when a goal is tied to an existing habit, which “helps your brain adapt.” If you want to stretch more, tie it into something you always do, like turning off your alarm in the morning. To drink more water, have a glass of water before your first beverage of the day, she said.
She also recommends celebrating what you get right and not focusing exclusively on what you want to change.
A marathon, not a sprint
The Pittwire at the University of Pittsburgh has a lot to say about goal setting, but it also notes that most people give up on those “new year, new you” ideas by February. University Learning Research and Development Center Research Associate Omid Fotuhi and Sophia Choukas-Bradley, an assistant professor of psychology, offer their own set of tips for sticking with trying to improve yourself.
They say that you should remember “goals are tools, not a measure of your value.” And they warn that goals are more achievable when you have an accountability buddy, rather than hoping social media will keep you going. People who post their goals don’t always get the same benefit of people who actually follow up with them and genuinely care. Fotuhi told Pittwire that social media “content is curated to create a pristine image of what the world should look like. Comparisons through this curated lens can sap intrinsic motivation.”
They also suggest letting go of goals that no longer serve you.
Per Pittwire, “The important thing about goals is that they motivate you to keep moving,” Fotuhi says. For a more meaningful approach to goal setting and life, he says to “focus on areas you want to continue to evolve and grow that are unending.”
Do it your way — or don’t
Parkhurst said she’s not reluctant to start over if she needs to. “Something else that’s helped me when I feel like I’ve failed one of my resolutions is to reframe my perspective. Each day is a new day and I can try again. I also use it as a learning opportunity. If I’m not meeting the goal, then it might need to be changed. It sounds silly, but giving yourself permission to be flexible with resolutions can be helpful as well,” she wrote.
And here’s a bit of common sense advice: If you quit already, you can pick it back up or change it completely. You can even start in April if you want. New Year’s resolutions are a tradition, not a set of rules.
Your resolution, your rules.