In recent years, words like “skibidi,” “tradwife” and “rizz” have made their way into the modern vocabulary. Alongside them are more serious terms that come from a tech-reliant society, like textaphrenia, textiety and nomophobia.
Textaphrenia and textiety both refer to the anxiety that comes from constant texting and messaging notifications.
Nomophobia, short for “no-mobile-phone phobia,” is the fear or anxiety of being without a device. According to the National Library of Medicine, it can lead to excessive phone usage and dependence on the device for social connection, validation and entertainment.
This attachment is widespread, even for those without an official nomophobia diagnosis.
A recent report from Reviews.org found that more than 85% of people check their phones within 10 minutes of waking up, and 75% would not feel comfortable leaving their homes without it, as previously reported by the Deseret News.
While phones are vital tools, many users are finding they can no longer function without them, and neither can their families. Parents may find phones and technology to be a source of contention in their homes as they strike a balance with themselves and their kids with their use.
Experts have shared their own tips and tricks that could be helpful for some as they try to enjoy the benefits media and technology brings, without the negative effects.
The power of an open conversation
Rebecca Densley, an assistant professor at Brigham Young University who studies the intersection of media development and family life, told the Deseret News the solution to less technology use, isn’t abstinence.
“We don’t want to take away everything, and have our kids lose the ability to benefit from what media has to offer,” Densley said. “When parents are having regular and open conversations with their kids about media use, there are a lot of positive effects, and it helps to reduce the negative effects.”
Densley noted that while strict rules may work for young children, adolescents require more “buy-in.” Without a collaborative discussion, teens may succumb to the “forbidden fruit effect,” where restricted media becomes more desirable. She also warned of “technoference,” or phubbing (phone-snubbing), when a parent’s phone use interrupts engagement with a child, which can trigger a cycle of family conflict.
Phone strategies for parents
Experts agree that digital discipline starts with the adult. Christine Crawford, a psychiatrist and author of “You Are Not Alone for Parents and Caregivers,” told "Today" that parents must model socialization without screens.
The idea that digital discipline starts with parents is a sentiment shared by both Crawford and author and podcast host Mel Robbins.
“We want to blame our kids. We want to complain about teenagers,” said Robbins in talking with ABC News. “But you got to look in the mirror.”
To help bridge the gap between work and family, Robbins suggests being transparent. If you must check a work email, tell them when you need to use your phone and how long, then physically put it away. Robbins and Harvard Business School professor Arthur Brooks both recommend a “phone foyer,” a dedicated charging station away from common areas.
Passive consumption versus active engagement
The impact of technology often depends on the “how” rather than the “if” or “how much.”
Densley noted that using media to combat a bad mood often amplifies negative feelings.
In the case of social media use, generally, active use, messaging and posting, is healthier than passive “doom-scrolling,” Densley said.
“When parents are having regular and open conversations with their kids about media use, there are a lot of positive effects, and it helps to reduce the negative effects.”
— Rebecca Densley, BYU assistant professor
Brooks compares tech to nutrition; if mindless scrolling is the “snacking” of the digital world, then he offers going on a digital diet. Just as people avoid mindless snacking with food, we should aim to avoid mindless scrolling during “in-between moments” like waiting in line.
A digital reset toolkit
To help break habits and become more intentional with tech use, experts suggest a mix of physical and mental resets.
- The media fast: Densley and author Joshua Becker recommend a “media fast.” If you return to your phone and immediately slide into old habits, your behavior may be more hardwired and could use a more intentional plan for technology use.
- The rubber band trick: Becker also suggests putting a rubber band or hair tie around your phone to disrupt the scroll. This physical “speed bump” makes it harder to see the screen, forcing users to be more intentional.
- Analog alternatives: Rather than letting the phone be a “Swiss Army knife,” experts recommend using alternatives like swapping a digital alarm clock for a physical one, or to use paper planners to keep your phone out of your hands.
- Digital sunsets: The Mayo Clinic and Brooks both advocate for “the digital sunrise and sunset” rule: no screens for the first hour of the day or the last hour before bed.
Finding ‘awe’ in the real world
While structured rules and resets like digital sunsets protect our time, the next step is what to do with that reclaimed space. Reclaiming time from technology allows for unplugged activities and hobbies like cooking, walking, painting or playing board games. Densley noted research emphasizes the importance of “awe,” the grounding feeling found in nature or music, and how that “awe” moments could replace digital feedback loops.
“We can put our phones away and try to notice things we’re grateful for,” Densley said. She noted stepping away from the digital feedback cycle allows people to notice facial expressions and emotions, which can lead to a deeper connection, especially for parents and their children.
A 2023 study published in Scientific Reports found that daily experience of awe significantly reduced stress and improved overall well-being.
Densley added, “Those experiences of awe can be really grounding. It’s a huge contrast to this fast-paced digital world. When we step away from that constant feedback cycle, we notice more.”
What to do next
The goal, Densley says, is intentionality. These devices are designed to capture and keep attention and fighting that pull takes practice.
By recognizing this and giving grace, Densley shares through treating the phone as a tool rather than a companion, families and individuals can move forward through positive constructive conversations about technology use.