A truth proven time and again is that no one achieves anything great alone. Yet, it seems we’ve forgotten this. We’ve encouraged and incentivized hyper-individualism from the time we start school through our working lives.
This not only undermines our collective ability to solve problems, but it also hurts our well-being. The Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest-running study of its kind, has tracked participants since 1938 in pursuit of one question: What makes a good life? The answer wasn’t wealth or career success — it was relationships. Strong, loving relationships are the greatest predictors of health, happiness and longevity. As former study director George Vaillant put it, “The only thing that really matters in life is your relationships to other people.”
If hyper-individualism is a cultural crisis, the cure is hyper-connectedness. We can reset our systems by building deep connections with one another and shaping meaningful collaborations. There is an old African proverb: “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” I believe this statement is misleading. The only way we can go both fast and far is if we go together, if we collaborate at a scale that we can’t even begin to imagine yet. The challenges we face today are too complex and interconnected for solo solutions. They require radical collaboration.
Radical collaboration is a way of working together where individuals, organizations and communities with differing perspectives and backgrounds come together not just to get along but to achieve something great. It breaks down traditional barriers and fosters a more inclusive, innovative environment.
Lessons from partnerships
Fortunately, we have some great teachers showing how this can happen. Our team at Plus Wonder interviewed more than 65 diverse partnerships and they all had two things in common: longevity of their partnership and the ability to leverage their relationships to make a positive impact. Our world is built on relationships — business, civic, romantic, familial. These intentional partnerships ripple outward, shaping systems, movements and entire societies.
President Jimmy Carter’s celebration of life service was a master class in collaboration across divides. One of my favorite moments was when President Gerald Ford’s son read a eulogy that his father had written before he died. “According to a map, it’s a long way between Grand Rapids, Michigan, and Plains, Georgia. But distances have a way of vanishing when measured by values rather than miles. And it was because of our shared values that Jimmy and I respected each other as adversaries even before we cherished one another as dear friends.”
Carter’s connections extended beyond the personal. He was also a member of The Elders, a group of independent global leaders founded in 2007 by former South African President Nelson Mandela and his wife Graça Machel. This diverse group came together with no other agenda than to focus on peace and human rights to achieve what’s right for people and the planet.
The Elders began not with a United Nations mandate or policy summit, but with the vision of two dear friends, Richard Branson and Peter Gabriel. They took the idea to Mandela, who agreed and gathered a group of leaders to bring it to life. I’ll never forget when Mandela came to the very first Elders’ meeting, walking through a corridor of human joy — South Africans from local communities singing and dancing as he entered the gathering. He addressed the audience with the words, “As institutions of government grapple — often unequally — with challenges they face, the efforts of a small, dedicated group of leaders, working objectively and without any vested personal interest in the outcome, can help resolve what often seems like intractable problems. We have the makings of such a group. Using their collective experience, their moral courage and their ability to rise above the parochial concerns of nation, race and creed, they can help make our planet a more peaceful, healthy and equitable place to live.”
The strongest collaborations don’t begin with just strategy and shared goals but with shared humanity.
The Elders have nurtured a powerful collaboration not only among themselves, but also with the core group of philanthropists who support them, and with frontline partners all over the world. Over the past 20 years, it is clear that they became who they are because of each other and the partnerships they’ve shaped around them. That’s how they’ve been able to multiply their impact in the world.
As we look to the future of philanthropy, these partnerships remind us that collaboration isn’t a strategy — it’s an imperative that none of us can do it alone. In an era of isolation and polarization, we must rebuild trust by investing in partnerships. It’s not easy, but it is the only path forward if we want to ensure a future for generations to come.
The six degrees of connection
So, what makes a great partnership? After analyzing thousands of pages of transcripts from our 65 interviews, we identified six recurring patterns present in the most successful partnerships and called them the “Six Degrees of Connection”:
Something bigger: Find a shared purpose through deeper connections, finding something bigger to unite people.
All-in: The most successful relationships have partners that feel 100 percent supported by the other partners. This kind of support gives confidence and freedom to not only be all-in, but to go big.
The ecosystem: The ecosystem is a moral framework built on enduring trust, unshakable mutual respect, united belief, shared humility, nurturing generosity and compassionate empathy.
Magnetic moments: Create rituals and practices that reinforce the connection, that remind partners of the spark that first brought them together.
Celebrate friction: Friction is unavoidable, but thriving partnerships create tools to rise above the conflict and to use disagreements as opportunities to learn and grow.
Collective connections: A framework to scale collaborations, with deep connections at the center serving as role models, hubs of momentum and connective tissue.
These patterns don’t appear overnight — they’re forged through intentional, consistent effort. Often, the most resilient partnerships begin with a strong personal foundation. Take the story of Airbnb, founded in 2007 by friends Joe Gebbia, Brian Chesky and Nate Blecharczyk.
Gebbia and Chesky were roommates struggling to pay rent in San Francisco when they saw an opportunity: A major design conference was coming to town, and all hotels were booked. They decided to rent out air mattresses in their apartment and offer breakfast — hence the name “Air Bed & Breakfast.” To turn this one-time idea into a scalable platform, they brought in Blecharczyk, a technical genius and old friend of Gebbia’s, to help build the website.
Their collaboration embodied the Six Degrees from the start. Something bigger? They believed in making people feel at home anywhere in the world. All-in? The trio maxed out credit cards, racked up debt, and lived off cereal while deepening their friendship to build the company. Ecosystem? They put trust at the center of absolutely everything they did, expanding their web of trust to their guests and hosts. Their respect for one another’s skills and shared vision helped them navigate countless early challenges. They also established magnetic moments — like staying grounded in user stories and regularly reflecting on the company’s mission — that kept their bond strong. They had to celebrate friction, facing disagreements over design, branding and business strategy. But those conflicts only deepened their respect and trust. And through collective connections, Airbnb grew into a global movement — empowering hosts, guests and communities around the world.
Rooted in shared humanity
The strongest collaborations don’t begin with just strategy and shared goals but with shared humanity. When partners truly value one another beyond the work, they create space for trust, vulnerability and longevity.
But a deep value of relationship alone isn’t enough. Great partners complement each other — they don’t echo each other. Enduring partnerships are built on complementary strengths that together form a more complete whole. That “electric current of difference” is not a weakness — it’s what keeps the partnership alive and thriving.
Equally important is the ability to challenge and stretch each other. Take, for example, Tony and Pat Hawk, siblings who oversee the Tony Hawk Foundation (now The Skatepark Project). While Tony brought global visibility and a passion for skateboarding, Pat provided the operational leadership and strategic vision needed to build lasting impact. Together, they’ve helped fund and advocate for hundreds of safe, accessible skateparks in underserved communities. Their ability to combine distinct strengths in service of a shared mission — expanding opportunity through skate culture — demonstrates how enduring partnerships can drive meaningful, long-term change. And they both speak about how they learned from one another and stretched themselves into new areas of expertise.
It begins with changing how we measure success, from fame and accumulation of wealth to the true measure of success in how many lives we can make better by living a life of service.
The Hawks’ complementary approach can work in philanthropy as well. The best partnerships are often organizations and people who come together across deep differences and challenge each other to step out of their comfort zones to do something more audacious than they ever could have done on their own.
Donors often unknowingly create silos between charities based on the way we give funds. We can correct that by reimagining how we create incentives to bring charities together. Charities need the freedom to not be frightened of merging efforts to have outsized impact in the world — which is often a much more joyful path.
I remember some 15 years ago we started a charity called the Carbon War Room to create market-based models to reduce carbon. What we lacked in technical and scientific expertise was found in the not-for-profit RMI, led by Amory Lovins. So we merged, bringing together the best in entrepreneurial ideas with the best in science to create a force that is now 10 times the size with exponential impact.
The future is arriving faster than ever, and we find ourselves at a crossroads of connection. We can choose to unite — combining our perspectives, talents and resources to propel society forward — or we can slip further into isolation, clinging to an individualistic mindset that ultimately serves no one. The path we choose matters not just for today, but for tomorrow — and for generations to come.
Swami Sivananda wisely observed, “Illness begins with ‘I.’ Wellness begins with ‘we.’” If we want to thrive, we must choose connection. The transformation of society will not come from self-interested individualism, but from impact shared. It begins with changing how we measure success, from fame and accumulation of wealth to the true measure of success in how many lives we can make better by living a life of service.
Wisdom from global traditions can guide us forward. One such example is the Seventh Generation Principle, an ancient philosophy passed down from the Iroquois. It teaches that every decision we make today should be made with seven generations in mind. It’s a principle rooted in sustainability, responsibility and long-term thinking — but at its heart, it’s about partnership. It invites us to see our lives as part of an ongoing collaboration with those who came before us and those who will follow.
Jean Oelwang is the founding CEO of Virgin Unite and The Planetary Guardians, and co-founder of Plus Wonder
This story appears in the October 2025 issue of Deseret Magazine. Learn more about how to subscribe.