It’s early in the morning and I’m already tired. My to-do list is long. My to-cook list is longer. My thoughts are on maintaining traditions for my mostly grown children and now grandchildren. I saw a couple of memes recently that I could relate to: “Cook for three days so the kids can eat a single roll” and “What do you mean you want dinner? You’ll eat on Thursday.”
And yet — I am grateful.
I am grateful for a warm house and plenty of food. I am grateful that we have been blessed with enough and to spare. I am grateful that sharing and giving is more of a mindset than a bank account balance. I am grateful to see my children be thoughtful and generous to others, even when they are “starving” college students or “starving” entrepreneurs.
I am grateful to be a mom. There is no question that motherhood has brought me my highest highs and lowest lows. Nothing else even comes close. In fact, those highs and lows are the yardstick by which I measure everything else. People have rude comments on my writing? Shrug. I lost a political election (or two)? Sad, but not like burying-a-child sad. So tired, but a child needs me? Down some cold caffeine and I’m there for them. I love motherhood, in all its messiness and happy milestone moments — and even in the less-fun moments, there can be joy.
I am grateful for technology that connects us. I am grateful I can video chat with kids and grandkids. When I was growing up, that was a science fiction kind of thing. (I still wish we had transporters for global travel! Jet lag is a beast!) I am grateful that technology lets me do my daily writing work from home, from beside a hospital bed or in a different state, because all I really need is a laptop and an internet connection.
I am grateful for the power of friendships. I was lonely — really lonely — when I was a new mom and then a very busy mom. I was desperate for adult relationships and conversations. At some point (I don’t remember when), I decided to do more to create those kinds of relationships. I’m grateful now to have so many friends in so many different areas of my life. It’s powerful to know that others have your back.
I am grateful for words. I love to write and I love to speak. I don’t write fiction, but I like using words to create stories that are moving and memorable. I know that words matter. Sometimes when I write, the words don’t come readily, and sometimes when I write, it feels like the words just pour out of me. Both are sweet experiences for which I am grateful.
I am grateful for learning. I earned a degree in nursing before I married, and then took 30 years off of formal schooling. That didn’t stop my learning! I’ve always made time for reading, although now I “consume” books by listening to them. I make time to learn from others, too. Stories are powerful and I want to hear them. I’ve finished a Ph.D., but I am not done learning. Over the last few years, for example, I’ve been learning about home improvement projects. I can now use a radial arm saw and a nail gun, I can change out light fixtures and plugs, I can lay flooring and baseboards, and I’ve learned how to install a backsplash and drywall. It’s rewarding work!
I am grateful for travel and meeting new people. I have been blessed to travel to almost every state and dozens of countries in my lifetime. I’ve met royalty and refugees, academics, government officials, nonprofit workers, volunteers and many, many moms, who all love their children and are trying to do right by them. I am so grateful that travel has helped me broaden my perspective and has ingrained in me that my story and my experiences are not the only ones.
I am grateful for medical miracles and modern science. So many of my kids would be dead without it — and honestly, I think I would be too. I’m grateful to know that, for example, the global child mortality rate has decreased dramatically since the early 19th century, when almost half of all people died in childhood. Today, that number is 4%. At the same time, I am grateful for traditional knowledge and a variety of healing modalities passed down through generations that also benefit our family.
I am grateful for the power of gratitude. I learned about its healing properties through my own trial and error, but it is validating to read scientific research about it too. Gratitude isn’t some airy-fairy idea that leads to us grinding our teeth as we spit out a gratitude list. It’s not a superficial concept that comes around once a year and, I’ll admit it — it’s not just a hashtag. Neuroscientist Dr. Antonio Damasio, is quoted as saying, “We are not thinking machines that feel, but emotional machines that think.” I’m even grateful to know that gratitude and sorrow can and do coexist.
Finally, I am grateful for Heavenly Parents who love me and for an Elder Brother, Jesus Christ, who walks with me — and my children — even through the darkest abyss. He is the light and life of the world and I’m so, so grateful to be bound to Him.
As I reflect on the tapestry of blessings — and challenges — woven through my life, I am reminded that gratitude is not just a fleeting emotion but a profound and constant companion. President Russell M. Nelson of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints reminds us that gratitude does not spare us from sorrow, sadness, grief and pain. “But,” he said, “it does soothe our feelings (and) it provides us with a greater perspective on the very purpose of life.”
This insight resonates deeply with me, as I recognize that when I feel out-of-sorts, anxious or depressed, it’s almost always a reminder that my practice of gratitude has been neglected.
Thanksgiving is here, and I cherish this time to pause, reflect and hold space for gratitude — a powerful force that binds us to the divine and to each other.