Every year, we hear new complaints about how commercialized Valentine’s Day has become.
Departing from simple displays of love such as a handwritten note or a home-cooked meal, the modern version of the Day of Love is often more about purchasing tokens of one’s affection — from flowers or chocolates to jewelry and spa packages.
However, we may be witnessing a whole new level of commercialization when it comes to Valentine’s Day — in the commercialization of the relationship itself. Skip the gifts and date nights altogether, modern lonely hearts are hearing, and simply create (and purchase) your own customized romantic partner. Recent estimates suggest that current monthly online searches for and downloads of artificial intelligence romantic companion apps are on the rise.
A new report on AI relationship technologies
How will these expanding AI relationship technologies impact dating culture, couple relationships, and family formation trends, as well as the personal well-being of the users? As scholars at the Wheatley Institute at Brigham Young University, we took up this question in a new report, “Counterfeit Connections: The Rise of Romantic AI Companions and AI Sexualized Media Among the Rising Generation” — where we present initial findings from a new national study of nearly 3,000 adults across the United States. Our focus was exploring how common it is for adults in the United States to use AI romantic companion apps that simulate romantic partners.
Overall, we found that AI romantic companion apps are popular and are being used more than most people might believe, particularly among young adults. Almost 1 in 5 adults in the United States report that they have chatted with an AI system meant to simulate a romantic partner. Use rates are particularly high among young adults (defined as 18-30 years old), with nearly 1 in 3 young adult men and 1 in 4 young adult women reporting that they have chatted with an AI companion. However, these technologies are increasingly common among older adults (30-plus years of age) as well, with 15% of adult men and 10% of adult women reporting that they have chatted with a virtual romantic companion.
While these platforms can take many forms, they often utilize “generative AI” to create impromptu conversations that appear as though a human is creating them. Given that these platforms utilize AI learning technologies, these AI companions continue to evolve as users interact with them, developing relationship “personas” which learn from users’ responses and can create increasingly sophisticated simulated emotional connections with their users by customizing their interactions to appeal to the users’ preferences and attractions.
These generative AI systems have typically been taught to be emotionally validating, caring, always interested in what the user has to say and, in many cases, overtly sexual. Many platforms intermix chat-based conversations with lifelike, realistic, and sometimes sexually explicit AI-generated images for the fictional avatar. Many of these platforms allow individuals to “program” their ideal partners, creating idealized companions in terms of both facial features, body shape, dress and appearance, and personality traits.
These technologies are becoming more numerous, with dozens of apps and websites advertising these types of services across all major online app stores and search engines, along with hundreds of social media accounts that generate idealized, and often sexualized, AI images of men and women which are now easily accessible to millions of potential users, including children and teens.
In our study, we also found that the number of people viewing social media accounts displaying AI-generated (frequently idealized, sexualized) images of women and men is relatively high given the relatively new nature of these technologies. More than half of study participants reported that they had viewed an AI social media account that generates these types of images. In terms of more regular or habitual engagement, more than 1 in 5 young adults reported that they actively follow social media accounts that exclusively generate AI images of people. This is a rate that is approximately twice as high as their adult peers.
We also assessed how common it is for individuals to view AI-generated pornography. We found that young adult men are more than twice as likely to view AI pornography than young adult women (27% of young adult men vs. 12% of young adult women) and adult men are three times more likely to view AI pornography than adult women (12% of adult men vs. 4% of adult women). However, it is worth noting that young adult women are as equally likely as adult men to report that they have viewed AI pornography and are three times more likely to view such types of sexual media than their adult women peers.
Counterfeit intimacy vs. real human connection
One area of concern with AI-generated images is that they can promote objectification and contribute to users having unrealistic expectations for appearance and body types. We asked users if they prefer looking at AI images of men and women or if they prefer images of real people. While most AI engagers still expressed preference for images of real people, a notable percentage of users expressed a preference for the often-idealized AI-generated images.
We also found that AI relationship technologies are deceiving many users and creating a counterfeit sense of belonging and connection. Of those who chatted with AI to simulate romantic partners, 1 in 5 agreed that they preferred AI communication over engaging with a real person. A substantial proportion of users reported favorable attitudes toward AI technologies: 42% agreed that AI programs are easier to talk to than real people, 43% believed that AI programs are better listeners, and 31% felt that AI programs understood them better than real people.
For a notable portion of individuals, their interaction with AI companions goes beyond romantic conversations and becomes sexual in nature, with 1 in 3 users reporting they chat with AI technologies for sexual arousal.
Contrary to promises that this technology will enhance real-life relationships through practicing social interaction, we found that the use of AI companion apps is strongly linked to a higher risk of depression and higher reported levels of loneliness. We found that over half of men who use AI platforms for sexual or romantic purposes reported being at risk for depression and over half reported high levels of loneliness. These rates were almost double the rates of men who did not utilize AI platforms.
Women who used AI relationship platforms seemed to particularly be at risk for poor outcomes, with over 60% of women who used these technologies reporting a risk for depression and over half reporting high levels of loneliness. This was again significantly higher than the risk of depression and reported loneliness among women who were not using AI relationship technologies.
It is unclear at this point if this link exists because those with existing mental health struggles are drawn to AI romantic companion apps or if the actual engagement with these technologies lowers mental health and well-being over time. Regardless of the direction of causality, this is a troubling pattern and this link between AI companion apps and decreased mental health warrants further examination.
We believe that with more research we will find that, like pornography, these apps offer a momentary escape from emotional struggles but then leave the user feeling increased isolation — thus creating a familiar negative cycle that damages mental health and real relationship bonds.
Overall, these preliminary findings suggest that AI technologies represent an emerging and notable threat to users’ personal well-being and relationship health. The fact that a notable portion of both young adults and older adults are already engaging regularly with these technologies speaks to their appeal and their potential for unhealthy and compulsive use.
In conclusion, the rise of romantic AI companions and AI-generated pornography is deeply troubling due to the risk these new technologies pose for increasing unrealistic relationship expectations, fostering a new form of relationship infidelity, and deprioritizing true human relationships in people’s lives — all while fueling existing trends of loneliness, declines in dating and decreased family formation.
Brian J. Willoughby is a professor in the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University and a fellow of the Wheatley Institute. Jason S. Carroll is the Marriage and Family Initiative director at the Wheatley Institute at Brigham Young University and a senior fellow at the Institute for Family Studies.